Saturday, February 2, 2008
My Daughter Woke Up in a Different Place Today
One day she was a 17 year old heroin user...then she was tired, sick and frustrated...then she was scared, really scared. Scared of where she'd been, what she'd done, the friends she'd lost, the lies she told. She's been using seboxone for almost two months now. Today, we had a real conversation. She sat down at the bar in the kitchen looked at me and said, "Mom, I'm really scared. I've been in a dark place and I'm scared". Her eyes welled up. I asked her what she meant and she said "I'm not in that place anymore and I feel scared and sad." We talked for an hour or so about her feelings, what made her scared, where she wanted to go from here. She wants to go to college next year. She wants to continue her seboxone and counseling and she never wants to use heroin again. What bothers her the most is that she doesn't know who she is anymore. She said she felt as though she just woke up in a different place, as a different person. Someone she doesn't really know. I know that person. That person is my daughter.