This is my first post...hopefully someone will read this and comment...I need help....This blog is dedicated to all those suffering and struggling with addictions….God bless all of you. When I learned that my 17 year old daughter was using heroin…I did what any other Mother would do…I maintained calm …and went into the bathroom and cried…the silent cry…you know so no one can hear you….I didn’t think I was ever going to quit…The pain I felt was similar to learning that someone you loved just died…I know about heroin addiction…Some of my closest friends died in high school from the drug and some of my friends battled the addiction their entire life until only to die from consequences associated with use of the drug…aids. I knew first hand how it could ruin a life, take a soul and dangle it around like a puppet. I talked to my kids about drugs. I told them stories about my friends and the devastating effects of heroin, crack, methadone, prescription pain killers and other various demons.
My daughter didn’t listen…she thought she could do heroin every once in a while and not become addicted. She had tried it on several occasions and really like the way it made her feel.
She used off and on for a couple of months and then stopped. She was dope sick and she told herself that if she could get through the horrible pain that she would never do it again. Finally, the sickness subsided and she found that zanac helped eased her cravings. So for a couple of months she was using valium, zanac, and colatapins. Whatever, she could buy on the street is what she would take. She was always happy and I thought she was fine. After awhile she would use again. Somehow she thought she could just use once and it would make her feel good and she would stop. That’s not the case. She would use once…then use again…then again until she was again living for heroin. Her life is focused on heroin…you work around the need until you can get a bag or two and then your fine. She told me she actually started using January 2006. That was almost a year ago today. I didn’t know she was on heroin. I knew she had tried it a couple of times but when I talked to her about it she said she would never use it again. Heroin addicts lie. They turn into the best actors and actresses. They live in another life-heroin’s life. It is a horrible existence. Heroin is like a friend, a best friend. It never leaves your side…its always their waiting for you to finish work, waiting for you to wake up, waiting for you to finish watching a movie or visiting with friends. Its always there and you know its there. Its an attachment of your soul.
One of her friends called me last Friday (November 30, 2007) and told me that she was bad and that she needed help. To be quite honest, I was surprised. I had no idea. I immediately called her psychiatrist to get an appointment to talk to him about putting her on suboxone. Luckily, the counselor we had been seeing in December of last year worked for a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction medicine. (The appointment was scheduled for Tuesday (December 4, 2007). Her psychiatrist gave her ½ -4mg tablet in his office to make sure she didn’t have any type of reaction. It made her high. She went to bed and stayed in bed all day Wednesday. One Thursday (December 6, 2007) she decided she would only take a ¼ of a tablet instead of ½ tablet. This dosage seems to be better. She is less drowsy and is able to drive. We had an appointment with her psychiatrist on Friday (December 7, 2007)…She seems to be feeling pretty good being on the medicine. Her Doctor agreed that the lower dosage would probably work, if not to increase it back to ½ tablet. We have an appointment in a week to see how things are going. This is a relatively new drug that counteracts the effects of using heroin if you decide to use it. It turns off the receptors in the brain that cause the urge to use. She’s been on it for 7 days. She said the drug makes her look like she’s using heroin. I can now tell what you look like when you’re using heroin. When they first use I understand that they are very dopey and can’t really do anything except nod off. After awhile, they are usually very happy and have pinpoint pupils.
I’ve been looking around for information about heroin and the effects of it…I really didn’t find anything that might help me pinpoint what was going on with her. I tried to drug test her several times….She would use the test and throw it away so I wouldn’t see the results. She told me that she tested herself and that the tests really work. So, that ‘s why she wouldn’t take the test when I asked her too. …Because she knew I would find out. She said opiates, such as heroin will stay in your system 3-4 days.
So if anyone is wondering about those drugs tests you see in CVS. Well they obviously do work…and they work instantly you don’t have to wait a week for the results. So if you have any concerns at all…try to drug test your kids. Does this sound horrible? Maybe to some parents it does….but to me I think if you can at least let them know you think they are doing something their not supposed to do…maybe they will stop. If you suspect something is going on purchase a drug test and sit it on the kitchen counter. Then when they ask to use the car…tell them they need to take a drug test….If they refuse then something’s wrong. Talking to your kids doesn’t always work.