Monday, June 30, 2008

Boyfriend Dumped Her

Well Friday was her birthday. Her boyfriend was going to talk to her on that day. Well he talked to her...he called her on the phone and said Happy Birthday...that was it. She thought he was going to do something nice to surprise her. It was devastating to watch her cry. She called him and text messaged him several times and he finally asked her to stop by and see him. He told her wasn't going to date her anymore. She left crying.

Over the course of her Birthday weekend he called her and sent text messages to her phone several times.

He asked her to meet him...she did only for him to tell her he wasn't dating her anymore. She was devastated again. Then he asked her to stop by and see him again and he acted as though everything was fine. He told her she was pretty and kissed her.

Later he sent another text message and asked her to meet him at gas station. I thought that was weird. So she met him and he asked her if she would loan him $200 bucks. She did. He was supposed to stop by and see her later that evening...when he wouldn't answer her phone calls she was devastated again. I had just happen to call her to see if she was okay and she told me about loaning him the $200. I told her that she needed to get her money back from him. She did.

He out of the blue sent me a text message yesterday and said that she had invited him to dinner but she wasn't returning his phone calls. Her phone was actually dead and when she returned home I told her he had been calling her about going out to dinner. She excitedly called him back and said she was just about to jump in the shower and what time did he want to go to dinner. He replied, he didn't know if he wanted to go to dinner. She was devastated again. Later he called her and said if she wanted to see him to meet him ...she did....he told her he still loved her but not to kiss him. ...He quit his job because he said they were being mean to him....His friends that actually did see him that night said he was very upset.

She doesn't know what to do to. I just told her to stay strong take her medicine and everything will work out one way or another. What a horrible birthday for her....


Armchair Quarterback said...

The best thing you could do is to continue to offer love & support. There's nothing more devastating than rejection. It appears that this guy is quite manipulative, by offering a ray of hope of reconciliation rather than just ending the relationship. Typically, if you're dealing with such a manipulative personality-type, the Victim (your daughter) may blame herself, for his actions.

Emotional abuse sometimes holds much deeper wounds that physical abuse. With physical abuse,a person could view a black eye, or see bruising. There are many more supportive services & empathy for physical abuse. A person who is emotionally abused usually has difficulty quantifying their experience. It's painful, but intangible. It's great that she has a concerned parent who loves her & wants the best for her. Make sure other people offering support or advice are aware of the dynamics involved here. (You don't want her to feel worse by confiding in a gossiper, or others with unempathetic views).

Note: If these issues become prolonged: increase/decrease in appetite, sleeplessness, inability to perform normal activities (job, school, friends) may want to seek professional help. If it is a financial hardship, then you may seek local support groups for assistance.
Hope this helps

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Thank you Armchair Quarterback...good advice. Thank you so much. I appreciate the information. It was really sad watching the entire situation unfold. It's always devastating for a parent to watch their child suffer. Thanks again for your kind words and great advice.