Monday, June 16, 2008

Heroin: Do You Know the Signs?

I thought I was really smart about drugs and what to look out for...boy was I surprised and shocked when I found out my daughter was a heroin addict. I read all the information about different types of drugs, drug paraphernalia, the effects of drugs, what they look like, etc. I'm what you call a dumb parent. There are many signs of heroin use but I didn't see them until it was too late. According to changes in mood, temper, and sleeping routines are common in teens. They have compiled a list of everyday things to look for...which could be a sign of drug use, depression or simply just being a teenager.

What I now know is that its difficult to tell physically ...but there are some telltale signs that my daughter exhibited but I just ignored them thinking they were normal teenage mood swings and that she would grow out of them. Right, she grew into something she couldn't get out of - HEROIN.

These are some of the things I noticed but didn't really think anything about it...hopefully this list will help you make a determination before its too late. Continuously wearing long sleeve shirts [even in the summer], change in hygiene by not taking baths or showers as usual, wearing the same clothes, pin-sized pupils, small bruises on the arms [dime, quarter sized bruises], small red dots on the arms or hands [look closely, you'll see them]...being tired, nodding, puffy under eye area...throwing up [you might think they've been drinking]...itchy...face may break out and they may have sores on their arms and face from scratching themselves...flu-like symptoms...achy muscles, always cold, etc. If you find bottled water, straws, small bags, bottle caps, etc. in their room they are using heroin. And, remember that heroin is addictive no matter how its used [snorted, smoked or by using a needle]. Do you have any others?


Fractalmom said...

I would really like it if you would also post this blog on DHAM! I have listed your email as an approved author. This is a good post on what to look for, and the whole idea behind DHAM is education of us Mom's......Thanks, Dawn

pat said...

I know all too well the picking. I always knew when my son relapsed because his face would break out and he would spend hours picking at his face in the bathroom. However, I never knew the signs prior to finding out his drug use. Addicts are great at hiding, lying and manipulating. My son told me (once he entered recovery) that he smuggled the drugs into the house by gluing the tiny drug bags to the inside of a water bottle cap. I never thought to look there.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Thank you for the invitation to post this article on DHAM! I still struggle with the fact I didn't know my daughter was using heroin...I wouldn't think to look under a water bottlecap...who would? That's very important information for anyone who might suspect someone they love might be using...just start looking around [behind the cell phone battery is a great place to hide heroin]...if in doubt check it out...

Anonymous said...

I found out a week ago that my 30 yr. old son has been snorting heroin for the past 3 yrs. after he came to me asking for help. As I look back, there were no clues he was using other than he makes $10-12 thousand (yes, thousand) dollars a month (and yes, a month) but had nothing really to show for and no money in the bank. But then again, my son has always spent money like there was no tomorrow, so I had no reason to think anything was wrong. He never acted any different, never missed work, was never sick, always paid his bills, showed no personality changes, etc. As strange as this may sound, I am thankful he made enough money to support his habit because I feel that kept him from stealing and landing in prison.

The day after he told me about his addiction we found a doctor who put him on Subutex/Suboxone so he wouldn't suffer through withdrawal symptoms. He said he had tried for the prior 2 months to stop using heroin but when the withdrawal symptoms became unbearable he used again, just enough to stop the full effects of withdrawal. Had we not found out about Subutex, he said he was prepared to tough it out and go through a horrible week of withdrawal either with me by his side, at a detox center, or at the hospital. He realized that if he continued to use heroin he was facing certain death. That, and the loss of a family member 2 yrs ago to heroin addiction, were his deciding factors to quit.

I am praying that he will never relapse, never feel the urge to use again, although I know it happens frequently. My son and I attended our first Narcotics Anonymous meeting yesterday. He actually shared his story with the group, something I thought he would never do, and has NEVER done before, not even when in school. He has always been extremely shy about talking in front of groups. This gave me hope that he was very serious about putting an end to his drug use.

Since finding out about my son's addiction I've been gleaning the internet for any information I can find. Anything that might help me understand addiction and what my son is going through. Thank you for posting about the realities of heroin addiction.

Your daughter will be in my prayers.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

You're a great mom...and it seems as though he's ready to stop using which is definitely a very good sign. Attending the meetings and/ or seeing a counselor is also an important step in the recovery process.

Is he taking the subutex? My daughter is taking seboxone which has the blocker...which means that as long as she's taking the seboxone she wouldn't get high even if she used heroin again. The subutex doesn't have the blocker...

Let me know how things go...I'll be thinking about you and your son.

Fractalmom said...

just for the record, my daughter still used while on suboxone. and she says she still felt it. there is a great risk of overdose, apparently you have to override the suboxone, but it can be done.

she was on suboxone twice, methadone three times. cold turkey more than i can remember. she is currently attending methadone.

Anonymous said...

I recently married my husband 2 months ago who is a heroine addict,I thought he would stop but our relacionship is going down the drain because of this. I am going crazy, all I do is pray for him to come around, but he lies more and more everytime, I pray for all of you and the addictive person, I don't think I can put up with him any longer. I think it's best that we part.

Anonymous said...

My daughter was recently in the hospital for a heroin overdose. SHe's 21 yrs old and her heart and breathing stopped twice. I found a doctor to prescribe Suboxone so she wouldn't suffer with DTs, unfortunately tonight I found a burnt spoon and vegetable oil in her room. I have no idea what the vegetable oil would be used for. I hope someone out there can give me the answer.

The outpatient treatment is costing me way more than I can afford. She has no job or insurance and her presciptions are over $500 a month.

I guess that would be a small price to pay for my only child, however, I think she's still using.

As horrible as it sounds, if she truly can't give up the habit, she's better off dead.

When I was watching most wanted awhile back there was a guy serving 90 years for killing over drugs. He said that drug addicts usually end up in one of two places- the morgue or prison.

Either's killing everyone in her life that truly cares.

Recently one of her friends went to jail over this, and I have got to admit I wish my daughter would have went to jail because she would have been forced to get off this horrible drug.

I can't believe that I have enabled her to get off this painfree and she still does it.

All the lying I think kills me the most.

I ran across a blog from a couple in the UK that lost a daughter from this same age as mine. You would have never thought this girl would have used drugs.

I have numbers to a bunch of professionals to help me endure, but who can afford that?

I feel there is no hope. I learned several years ago that it is very true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

I keep blaming myself, but I did all the right things.

I wished I had more money. I think she needs an impatient setting if there's any hope.

I know it's hard getting off the crap. I guess you have to be strong. I had Leukemia twice and had a bone marrow transplant. The whole time she was what was keeping me alive. I often think/feel I should have died. I can bearly function.

Her life has not been easy, but no one knows what hand will be dealt. You have to make it the best and face your problems head on. Ultimately, you do control your own destiny.

I've been lied to so much. It's sad when you don't know what to believe anymore.

If there's anyone out there that knows what my vegetable oil was doing in her room I'd greatly appreciate it - I really don't know anything about the whole drug scene. What I do know is that one of my high school friends that use to be a MIT student brillant and hansome is now a walking vegetable and I lost another to an overdose my uncle on his 36th birthday.

I would give all my limbs and teeth if she could just be normal.

Fractalmom said...

i am so sorry.

check out this blog too

and their are links on My Daughter's Addiction that you can benefit from

I have no earthly clue what the vegetable oil is for, except that some say the needle marks will disappear faster if you rub them with vegetable oil.

again, i am so sorry. there is a group of us out here who are going through the same thing. we may be at different stages, but we have every single one of us have been exactly where you are.

email me anytime.


Anonymous said...

My husband is almost 39yrs of age, and has been a heroin addict for 24 yrs of his life. He has been on Methadone maintence which I personally feel is waste of time and money, and has gone through detox countless times. It has ruined our marriage, but only he himself has to be the one that wants to quit no matter how badly I want him off this crap. Recently I noticed changes in him that I never saw before, he has lost weight, eyes surden in, pupils still the same day or night, pinheads, and I pray and hope he has not contracted AIDS from his yrs of abuse. His parents where he is currently living, don't seem to get it, the longer they allow him in their house, the longer the enabling continues. I love this man, but I can't fight the demon within him, he has to decide what is more important, a life free of this addiciton or a slow, painful death that no one would want to endure. Since being separated, his paychecks pay for his drug addiction and the law is looking for him for unpaid fines. Sad life.
I hope all of you find some type of peace within yourselves, Heroin is a nasty drug, that slowly destroys your organs, till one day after all the 'cotton" to absorbed the dirtiness of the drug finally reaches the heart, it's the end. this is one hell of a drug that after a couple of times takes over not just your body but your brain.
I just pray that the war on drugs will overcome and every family that has to suffer and watch and wait to see if their loved one addicted to Heroin will finally come to peace and life will be just that life. The goodness of it all. Susy

filipinaislandgirl said...

My 20 yr old daughter was just awarded her grandmother's home in her will. The home is in AZ and we live in WA. When we had trouble hiring someone to go empty the house and prepare it for rental my daughter said she would go do it herself. I thought GREAT we will save some money, and she can spend a few memorable weeks in her grandmother's home. WRONG! She suddenly became friends the 36 yr old guy (supposively ex heroine addict who claims he is now Mormon and has changed his life around) who rents out the garage portion of the home (converted to a 1 bedroom apt) A few days ago my daughter's friend came to me crying and very concerned. She showed me text messages she received from my daughter stating how she is doing heroine w/ the guy and she cant stop the urges. Here I thought she was working to clean out this house day in and day out as she's been there a month and almost finished. She has had new carpet installed, new paint and everything and I thought she was doing a great job working her rear off. Here I find out she's had sexual relations with this man and doing drugs and no longer living in grandma's house but WITH him in the garage!! I calmly asked her AND him for the truth and they both denied it. They said the friend is making up the texts and lying. I told him if it is true he will be evicted IMMEDIATELY. I called my attorney to start eviction process but we have a 1 yr lease with him and I have no ACTUAL proof other than text messages which isnt good enough.

I want to believe her but these texts were very graphic and stated how high he was and how she wants to use all the time. I gave her $3000 for carpets which was only priced at $900 and paint. The rest was hers to live on til she was done and ready to come home to WA. All the money is gone. She missed her flight back home so now shes stuck in AZ. She has NO money..not even money for something to drink. I deposited $100 in her bank account the other day and told her make it last one more week til I get paid. Its gone. She claims shes clean and used the money to buy food. Now she wants to stay in AZ and live w/ him in the garage!! Oh my God I dont know what to do..

Please someone help me.
I'm tired of crying

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I'm so sorry.
Heroin addiction is an evil addiction.

You saw the text messages your daughters friend received from you daughter stating she was using heroin with this man...they are true.

At this point I don't think you can trust anything your daughter is telling you. Heroin addicts lie and they are so good at lying they will convince you that whatever is wrong is your fault. They are good, really good at lying.

You should try to convince her to come home for a while to see if she really is ready to settle down with a guy who lives in a garage. Tell her you'll send her an airplane ticket...don't send her any money. Tell her you'll help her out when she gets home. Tell her that your worried about her and you need to see her...Just remember none of this is your fault. She made a bad choice...and if you can get her home you can get her some help. Keep in touch.

filipinaislandgirl said...

I posted a message about my daughter going to AZ to preapre our home for rental and started partying w/ my other renter whos a heroin addict.

UPDATE: after 3 mos she has realized everything I warned her about him is true. She is no lnoger sticking up for him but is wanting to come home. Now my problem is no money to buy her ticket to come home. She has since not talked to the guy. He most likely wont have rent on the 1st so we will be evicting him. She told me he's high everyday and makes no effort to look for a job. On the other hand she has been looking for a job everyday so she can get money for a plane ticket. I am saving everything I have to help out. She still is denying the fact that she did drugs w/ him but in my heart I know she did.

I thank God for answering my prayers. She now understands everything I warned her about.. how he was no good and a bad influence and how she needed to come home to WA and get out of there.

I am hoping to get her home soon

My Daughter's Addiction said...


That's fantastic news. I hope everything works out for you. Just remember to send her a ticket not the money for a ticket.

Sorry, I've learned the hard way.
Take care and keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

Hi im a 32yr old male from the uk and used heroin from the time i 19 until i was 24-25. I hid it from my parents with lies and deceit. My greatest fear while using, was that my parents would find out and inevitably they did. I gave up probably 3-4 times (all cold turkey) in the last 18-24 months of using, but each time was because i'd slip up and my parents would find out again. I was trying to stop for their sake, which for me was the wrong reason, as I (truth be known) still liked what i was doing. I finally stopped when out of the blue i decided i didnt want to live this miserable life anymore and went through my last withdraw (again cold turkey) and i've not looked back since. I know even thoughts of using, can lead to a habbit again, but having come through the other side of a soul stealing addiction i take great pride in (and feel no shame) in sharing my story with people in the hope it may help someone. Heroin is a terrible drug that destroys the users and the ones close to them, but there is always hope and the only one that can decide enough is enough is the user and they have to want it for themselves and not because they feel they should be making an effort for others or just simply going throgh the motions to keep others sweet. With tears filling my eyes at the thought of families dealing with this, my comforting thought is that there is life after an addiction and i pray for anyone affected by it, users and those close to them. So good luck and know that, as long as the tunnel may be, there IS light at the end of it...Wayne

Anonymous said...

I see a lot of naive comments made by people who have no idea what an addiction to a drug like this is like. The high you get is literally indescribable, and the only way you will ever truly stop, is by wanting to. Which is where the problem lies. The high is so good, that regardless of how your addiction makes others feel, the drug makes any shame, or sadness you may feel over that go away. I don't know how else to put it, other than, a Heroin high, is quite possibly the closest thing to heaven on earth...

This is all coming from experience. I want to quit, but it is so hard. Not the detox, but the knowing I won't have that high any more.

I honestly hope that will help some of you understand what your loved ones are going through. They don't love you any less than they ever did. The drug has just literally numbed any type of pain they would feel from what they are putting you through. The drug really is a catch 22, because you need to stop taking the drug to want to stay off, but as long as you are taking it, you don't want to stop. Then you also have the detox that comes with stopping which makes wanting to stay off even harder.

Anonymous said...

Robin says...herion addiction is a fatal disease. I lost my beautiful 29 yr.old daughter 2 yrs. and 3 months ago. She started w/ oxycotin. I almost died when I caught her "snorting it". Then she graduated to "shooting up". I always got so angry at her, now I wish I would have fallen to my knee's and begged her to get help. The courts were going to pay for her to go to rehab. She chose prison instead. She was dead a month after she got out of jail. It hits every walk of life, her step-dad is a cop. I don't know how to live w/o her.

Anonymous said...

My daughter just was arrested tonight for faking a breaking and entering in our home. We thought she was doing better and her and her two children haa been living with us since July. I started noticing she has lost too much weight lately. Well today, my husband and I was away, her children were with their fathers, and she had some man help her steal over $5000 worth of stuff from our home. She got caught in lies and the police too her away to jail. She opened up to the police and they have some of our stuff, but my heart is so broken and I feel as though I want to throw up. Sitting here knowing she is in jail.....She got her call and just kept begging me, please mom, please help me....please I want to see my kids....please I will go to rehab and on and on...I was so heart broken to tell her I tried to help for months but she chose drugs over her family.....her drugs of choice was percocet 30's, klonopin, and marijuana. I am so lost and sad.....I don't think I have ever felt so much pain.... please tell me how I am going to get through this. She was already on probation....guns were stolen too....she is going to be in jail for awhile, I think.

Fractalmom said...

dear anonymous. jail is the best and safest place for your daughter right now. honestly. go read some of the blogs on the sidebar blogroll, and then from other blogs go read theirs.

there are about a gazillion of us out here now, who have gone through, or are currently going through the exact same thing, even as far as raising our grandchildren.

you are not alone. READ !!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for all of this information. Some of your information is new to me.Such as the water bottles. I recently found out my 21 y.o. daughter, mother of my one y.o. granddaughter, has been using heroin. I not am not new to chemical abuse with my daughter, she started smoking pot and drinking the end of 7th grade. This has been nine years of this but. She has had periods of some sobriety, just smoking pot, or just drinking. My daughter is a polysubstance abuser.
My daughter has been living in Washington state and I am in Phoenix. Her family and friends have been begging her to come home to us for over a year. The babys father is a heorin addict with two other children with two other women. He had been on methadone for a while. Previous to this he and my daughter used what ever substance came their way.
I started recieving reports from people my daughter is close to since Christmas 2010 about physical abuse to my daughter and the fathers drug use. Recently there were reports of my daughters drug use.
Four days ago recieved a detailed report from one of her friends at how bad things have gotten. The filth, the needles laying around, the sleezy people in and out of their home, how BAD my daughter looks, my granddaught not being properly cared for. My daughter ending up in the ED for cotton sickness: this happens when cotton fibers get in the bore of the needle and enter the blood stream, body goes into shock, high fevers, this is not good. And has had Staph infections.
CPS-child protective services had been calleed by three people in here town house complex , friends and myself. Cps was there with a day or two but she was gone.
Her younger sister and a friend drove to get her and bring her to Phoenix.
My warning signs? Her attitude changed towards me, called me less, asking for money when we did talk, swearing at me when she didnt get it, entitled. I knew as soon as the attitude changed because as I said before this hasnt been our first rodeo.
The good news is I have resources for help. I work with addicts/alcoholics everyday. But it doesnt make it any better or easier with the knowledge and experience. Instinct is to be mom but training is to be counselor. Thanks for reading.

Anonymous said...


Fractalmom said...

Dear anonymous. I don't know if u will read this or not. 1. They nod off in the middle of a sentence. 2. Money goes missing. 3. They spend ALOT of time in the bathroom. 4. They stop caring about how they smell, look. 5. They lose weight. 6. They have track marks and wear long sleeves all year. They say they are constantly cold. 7. If they are snorting, u will find razor blades. They usually keep their stuff in an Altoids tin. 8. If they are smoking, you will find aluminum foil with burn marks on it.

Anonymous said...

i have a daughter who is 20 and fighting the battle of heroin use as well...another sign is chocolate, they eat lots of chocolate the nurse says it helps block something in the brain that craves the heroin..

Anonymous said...

Wow, reading this stuff makes me realise how truly horrible it is for the families going thru this. One of my friends (here in AUS), who is here right now as i type this, has been using heroin for the past year & a half. He says he's been trying to quit, but by looking at him now, i can tell he is high tonight. He's pupils are tiny, his eyes are bloodshot red, he keeps wiping/scratcing at his face, he has cyst type absis things behind his ears.. It's just horrible! The other day he was telling me how he had a huge fight with his mum at her unit & how things got broken & smashed, eventually the police where called.. It's sad & i find it disgusting that he gets my brother to drive him to his dealers place to "get on". He & my brother were best ffriends, my brother is an ex drug abuser. He's choice of drug was speed & marijuana. Even i myself was addicted to marijuna & realised after all of the mood swings & the way i was treating people i love & who love me, that this was NOT right! I've been clean for 6 months, maybe longer, thank the lord! My brother had to stop as he was diagnosed with psycosis. It was hard at the start, but now im just so proud of him! =) As for our friend, we dont know what'll happen with him, he has no job, he is going from house to house, im pretty sure he's been stealing from people, he's lost of all his good friends & uses whoever he has left. It's ugly & i feel for EVERYONE who goes thru this! I prey that each & everyone of u have a happy outcome, god bless u all!

Anonymous said...

There is a flushing to the face just under the eyes. Kind of like what your face would look like after a good cry. There is an image of it on one sight just google for images. The pupils are a big sign. Also the inability to make conversation. You talk they respond with ya right, or some other one or two word response. I'm tired, or being tired just after waking up. Sleeping the kind of sleep that you shake them and nudge them and they don't budge. I know a family dealing with addiction and I hear ya so and so has the flu again. It isn't the flu it's withdrawl. If it's past the time to use the symptoms mimic the flu. Heroin addiction for the parent, or friend is about listening for what you don't hear.

Anonymous said...

My fiancé was a user in his twenties, but has not used in the eleven years I have known him. He has been totally clean. Recently, he began smoking cigarettes. He has been under stress. He is moody. We are having problems. He has had a cold for two months and some crazy bronchial thing and he refuses to go to the doctor. I found a cut off straw, with a point on one side, and when I confronted him, he said it was for cleaning things. He lost 10 pounds. I asked him several times if he is using and every time he says he is not. He gets up and goes to work every day. I'm very confused. I do not know what to do.

Anonymous said...

here are some more signs of potential heroine users
-spoons in their room, or area, also plastic tubes (straws, razor blades,
-nodding out/falling asleep while in the middle of doing something like talking or smoking a cigarette
-making excuses for little things they normally wouldnt
-over explanation/ rambling on trying to justify things often
-mumbled, slurred speech, they just sound "funny"
-secluding their selves from large groups of people
-loss of interest in anything and everything

the list can go on and on, I just recently found out the hard way that my boyfriend of a year has been using heroine for the past 4-5 months, for the longest time I had absolutely no idea he was using. He did like to snort painkillers like percocets, vicoden, roxycodone, oxycodone (i dont know proper spelling for any of these) so i overlooked many of the warning signs figuring he was just moody for the pills or spending money on them. Currently he claims he wants to seek help but thats just talk, when it comes down to it he is still making up excuses for everything, lying all the time, and its obvious to everyone but him, nothing he does makes sense and he seems to be 100% numb to any feelings he once had.
this is a very sad waste of life i pray for everyone dealing with the same, i hope and pray for all of those addicted and all of those around the addicts who are suffering.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is age 40. Myself and other relatives are raising her kids, so I don't see her very often any longer. She won't admit it, but is refuted by her ex friend to be shooting up whatever and heroin. She always has numerous little bruises on her legs. She likes to con a little money from one relative by convincing that her husband is causing the bruises. There is extreme narcissistic behavior and increasing mental problems. However, she is chubby, so I'm wondering if the main addiction is to something else.

Anonymous said...

Its is beatable, I'm 2 months clean and sober, with no interest in going back. The worst part is, The user has to make the decision, no human power can beat these types of addictions NONE WHAT SO EVER i went through treatment, relapsed. Detox, Relapsed. REHAP, relapse. I found a high power and it saved me.

What to look for! if u wanna call a loved one out on being high, do it in a loving caring matter, anger does not help!

1. The nods tell-a-tale sign. ( uncontrollable urge to fall asleep)
2. Its all in the eyes!!!! pin pricks!!! (sever pupil constriction, extremely glossy, pupils will have little to no reaction to light changes (try watching your own eyes in a mirror when you turn the lights on and off)
3. Will act extremely Euphoric as if under a heavy sedative heroin is derived from morphine (slurred speech comes with the nods)
4. Bipolar (we act like shit, until we have what we need then where happy)
5. Track marks (google image it) (needle bruises, vitamin E lotions are used to prevent this, can be found ANY WHERE!!!)
6. Sweet Tooth (sugar. varies from user to user i like sour keys others loved chocolate)
7. Withdrawal DOPE SICK (take advantage of this, it means there not using but there addicted GET THEM TO TREATMENT!!! flu like symptoms like every single one of them fever, clammy skin, aches and pains, vomiting)
8. Paraphernalia: needles, lighters, spoons with scorched bottoms and/or odd looking scratches in the spoon (as if string with a needle) the list goes on. don't just look for bags "flaps" triangle or square folded pieces of paper.

There is no right or good way to approach some one with an addiction, just be loving and caring when addicted we cant choose between the death of an addict or life its self. I keep you all in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Its is beatable, I'm 2 months clean and sober, with no interest in going back. The worst part is, The user has to make the decision, no human power can beat these types of addictions NONE WHAT SO EVER i went through treatment, relapsed. Detox, Relapsed. REHAP, relapse. I found a high power and it saved me.

What to look for! if u wanna call a loved one out on being high, do it in a loving caring matter, anger does not help!

1. The nods tell-a-tale sign. ( uncontrollable urge to fall asleep)
2. Its all in the eyes!!!! pin pricks!!! (sever pupil constriction, extremely glossy, pupils will have little to no reaction to light changes (try watching your own eyes in a mirror when you turn the lights on and off)
3. Will act extremely Euphoric as if under a heavy sedative heroin is derived from morphine (slurred speech comes with the nods)
4. Bipolar (we act like shit, until we have what we need then where happy)
5. Track marks (google image it) (needle bruises, vitamin E lotions are used to prevent this, can be found ANY WHERE!!!)
6. Sweet Tooth (sugar. varies from user to user i like sour keys others loved chocolate)
7. Withdrawal DOPE SICK (take advantage of this, it means there not using but there addicted GET THEM TO TREATMENT!!! flu like symptoms like every single one of them fever, clammy skin, aches and pains, vomiting)
8. Paraphernalia: needles, lighters, spoons with scorched bottoms and/or odd looking scratches in the spoon (as if string with a needle) the list goes on. don't just look for bags "flaps" triangle or square folded pieces of paper.

There is no right or good way to approach some one with an addiction, just be loving and caring when addicted we cant choose between the death of an addict or life its self. I keep you all in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

My beautiful 19 year old daughter has been using heroin, for how long, I don't know. I've had a gut feeling she has been, but she lied and lied, until I got her bank statement, from her college "trust" fund, where she's burned through thousands of dollars. I'm sick to death of junkies, as her father was one, he's gone, but it may be genetic. I would hope to God that someone will help me. Oh My Lord, I was blind as I trusted her. I could lose this kid. HELP> Pam at 7162000978

Anonymous said...

I have a brother who is addicted to heroin. Hes only 24 but hes been using drugs since he was about 12. He started snorting heroin @ 19. I was not around my brother for about 10 years. I heard stories of things he was doing. But not being around someone and hearing it 3rd party is kinda of difficult to see it. The first time I saw my brother after several years, I noticed he was very thin. My parents basically said he has a fast metabolism.I also noticed he was very moody. One minute he was laughing,and having a good time. And 5 minutes later he would be cursing, hitting walls and throwing things. This was all observed during a 4 day visit. As I lived in another state. During this visit my brother pulled pictures out of him and his friends completly drunk in my parents house when he was 12.I wondered where my parents were. In Nov 2010 my mom called me one day to tell me that my brother admitted he was addicted to heroin.They got him on suboxone.I got to have some conversations with my brother where he told me he had been doing heroin for 5 years.My mom finally told me a few months ago how his addiction actually came out.She actually caught him snorting it.My brother has been on the suboxone for almost two years now. And hes not off it.Hes still skinny. He barely can remember what happened 5 minutes ago. He falls asleep driving,on the phone,on the computer..everywhere. He still has mood swings.And probably the worst of it is that his girlfriend has the same addiction.Shes in school to be a nurse. I live very far from him so there isnt much I can do. My parents dont want him to go to rehab because they dont want my brother being labeled.I know this probably seems familiar to many people. I feel sad because I havent been around him for so long, its hard to even reach him as a sister.The last time I saw him he was about to go after my sister for moving his laundry. A fight that would have been ugly if my husband and I werent there. I tried to talk to my dad at the time. And he just tried brushing me off saying he knows how hes going to deal with it.In the little bit I have seen and known and in the little time I have known about it,I have mentally prepared myself for the loss of my brother.At 5'8'' he weighs 120. He sleeps all the time. And sugar. I have never seen anyone eat so much of it.He seems to always have bags of it.Also, I know how serious it is when people say heroin addicts lie,they are very clever about it. My parents will ask my brother if he is back on it and he will start yelling saying they are thinking negative and if they dont trust him, they can drug test him. My parents will take his word for it and do nothing more.I think its so important to get as many stories out there as possible because 1 story can change a persons thinking.1 story can make a difference. This is my story and the little observations I have seen from him, in the small amounts of time I have had to share with him. I would love to see him healthy one day. But he doesnt have a functioning support system. All he has in saboxone. And I personally believe if he was going to get off of it, he would not be on the soboxone still after 2 years.For the person who said its like heaven on earth. I also understand what you mean. I have refered to this drug as heaven on hell. As my brother was dealing with his drug problems thousands of miles away. I had a friend who was on heroin. Though Ive never done heroin myself. I saw ups and downs with this person. Where one day we were having a great time. Great conversation. Just happiness. Which would quickly turn to hurt and pain somehow.I later found out it was the nature of the drug. The high or "heaven" was those great times. The happiness. the drug was the "on hell".I wish they will get better and see that life can be great without the pain.

Scared to death said...

My daughter has been using prescription medication for 3 yrs but I believe she has moved on to heroin and very recently, she sleeps all the time, her noses runs constantly , she texts with missed letters ,she mispronounces words, I have named her flip flop because of her mood swings (which were always a tell tale sign she was using percocet). My daughter lives with my mother who is 67 and cares for all 3 of her children. I have asked her if she is using pills and she screams or hangs up. I dont live in a fantasy world I know shes using the question is could it be heroin she has always slept with her abuse but not like this and she does complain with the flu like symptoms at least 3 times a week and does vomit , I am a student I am studying to be a chemical dependency counselor and yes she is part of the reason along with her sister who I no longer have any contact with because of drug abuse among some other things I rather not discuss. How can I know for sure or is that even possible ??

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Scared to death...
If she's been taking percocet for 3 years...she is definitely addicted to opiates. If she doesn't have any percocets she will use other opiates including methodone, hydrocodone, oxycodone, and yes, even heroin to keep from getting sick. Do you talk to your Mom?

Sarah said...

I know that this is an older post, but I wanted to comment anyway...

I am a recovering heroin addict. I'm 23 years old. I started doing heroin at age 15. I have been clean for a few years but am still on Methadone. I just wanted to give a few tips and tell you a few signs to look out for.

1.)DO NOT ENABLE THEM. I know it's difficult because it's your child and you feel bad for them, but giving them money, letting them use your car, etc. is not helping them. It's making it easier for them to use.

2.)BE NOSEY. If you have a suspicion that they are using, look around in their room. Search everywhere. Addicts are sneaky- they have hiding spots that you would never think to check. ALSO: look outside around the house. I used to hide my "kit" with syringes, cookers, etc. in a bush next to my house because I knew my parents would never find it there.

3.)LOOK FOR THE SIGNS. Look for the things people have mentioned in previous comments as well as the following. Heroin relaxes your muscles. Someone that is high is going to have a "dopey" look on their face. They can't control this. Their face will look really relaxed and they will usually come off looking VERY tired with their eyes and/or mouth drooping. Look for needle marks EVERYWHERE, not just on their arms. When I ran out of veins in my arms, I started to use my hands, legs, FEET, thighs, NECK, etc.

4.)Track them down. Many cell phones have GPS now. If your child is using your car (or even their own) and you suspect they are going to buy heroin, hide your cell phone in the car so you can see where they are by going online and tracking your phone. That way they can't lie. If that is not possible, track the miles on their car or the car they are using. My dad knew that the city was about 40 miles round-trip, and he would write the mileage down on the car when I would leave and when I came back. If it was around 40 miles, he would know where I went. I didn't catch on to this for quite a while.

I hope some of this helped. As hard as it is right now for you, I can promise you, things CAN get better. Heroin addiction put me through hell. I went to jail, prison, lost friends to overdoses, etc. but I have been clean for a while now and I am happier than ever with my life. It is possible. Your child needs you now more than ever. They may hate you for trying to stop them, but they will thank you later.

Sarah said...

P.S.- I forgot to mention, when I had used or even when I was in withdrawal, I would always twitch in my sleep. That was a tell tale sign and my mom would know that I had been using because I would twitch all night long.

Anonymous said...

Sarah's comment gives me hope. I am stil in denial about the whole heroin thing..I guess it is because my son has had none of the signs you have all listed especially the "dosing off" - I never looked at his pupils. I have a friend whose son was using heroin and I did see him under the influence and he was everything you have all described, the slurring, nodding off, etc...not once have I seen my son this way. Is it possible that he is using and not show any of these signs?

Anonymous said...

I recently reconnected with a man from high school. We went on a few dates and now I'm back home several hours away. I just was told that he is or has used heroin. Is there any point in me asking him directly? If so, how should I approach it? My observations were that of a lucid, gentleman who goes to work each day and takes care of his kids. But now I'm saddened that it could all be a facade. Any thoughts are welcome.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I don't think I'd ask him. Because if he has used he probably wouldn't want you to know...and if he is using then he's definitely not going to tell you.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Thank you Sarah...I'm so glad you're doing well. I love the GPS tip...

Anonymous said...

Im sorry for what u are going though, but the answer is never give up on your daugther. My mom was an herione addict for as long as I can remember, and I was all bout to walk away from her forever and thought I would never b able to forgive her for the things she allowed to happen to us girls or the things that she has put us though. I myself got pregant when I told her I would no longer b a part of her life cause I wasnt going to risk my daugthers well being around her when she decided enough was enough, she went to her first na meeting that week and has been clean for fourteen yrs, recovery hasnt been easy for her or me but I have.a mom now.and a grandma so guess what im saying is never give up hope cause this can b beaten. I will b praying for u both.

Anonymous said...

I am a concerned sister of a once heroin user. I am suspecting signs that possibly heroin is back in my sister's life because of changes in attudues and mention of useing a pain killer. I don't want to loose my sister again. When she was addicted she was the drug. Talking to her was impossible because she was an awsome manipulator and lier.

When I was pregnant with my first, she asked if I wanted an abortion. (That was her immedeant response to the news). I am happyly married... of course not!

Since she has been clean, her value of life has changed. She is confindent and happy looking to a hopefully execiting future.

This week I have seen a change. Mom let her family spend the weekend at her house because of a family gathering. Mom watches her children for her. Mom comes over to her house to help the kids sleep through the night. Mom watches the kids for her vacations to the beach.

My sister, mentioned that her and her husband had taken perkicet while staying with mom.

Following this weekend, her veiws on prenancy and children have changed. (a small change)

She seems different. I am not sure if she is useing again... but with my mom being the "mother" of her kids I am worried that may make it easier to use drugs and drink.

She calls mom with crazy stories of drinking with buddies and wrestling.

Nobody listens to me... I don't know what to do about my sister who I love. If I tell mom my concerns they are ignored. My mom dosen't want to change what she is doing. How does she not see that sometimes tough love is the best medicine.
I am so frustrated and worried about loosing my sister again and I need some advise on what to do with my family.

Anonymous said...

My 22 year old daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has relapsed twice, and this last time of sobriety has been clean for 6 months. But, in the last week or so, I am noticing some differences in her. She now has a car again and can come and go as she pleases, although she keeps in touch with me, and lets me know where she's going. I think. I have not noticed any of the signs listed above in my daughter. Her mood is different, in a good way, though. She is very chipper and peppy and almost giddy. I noticed this behavior in the past when she was using. She has also been on roxycodone, and I don't know if maybe these signs could be from that. Does anyone know if excitement and giddiness could be a sign of either? I am sooo worried. We have been working on this as a family so hard. Please help!

Anonymous said...

I tried to post this once, and don't know if it made it to the blog. I don't see it. My 22 year old daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has relapsed twice. This last time, she has been clean for 6 months. We have been going to NA/AA meetings as a family and she has been doing excellently. However, in the last week or so, I have noticed a difference in her mood. She seems happy, peppe & almost giddy. I have seen this behavior in the past. The tone in her voice changes. It's strange. I don't quite know how to explain it. She doesn't have the "dopey" look or the dosing. She hasn't started wearing long sleeves (yet). Could the giddiness be a sign or using? Please help. I am so scared and worried!

Anonymous said...

My 22 years old daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has relapsed twice, and this last time of sobriety has been clean for 6 months. But, in the last week or so, I am noticing some differences in her. She now has a car again and can come and go as she pleases, although she keeps in touch with me, and lets me know where she's going. I think. I have not noticed any of these signs in my daughter. He mood is different, in a good way, though. She is very chipper and peppy and almost giddy. I noticed this behavior in the past when she was using. She has also been on roxycodone, and I don't know if maybe these signs could be from that. Does anyone know if excitement and giddiness could be a sign of either? I am sooo worried. We have been working on this as a family so hard. Please help!

My Daughter's Addiction said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
My Daughter's Addiction said...

Anonymous Mom:
Her excitement and giddiness is probably being caused by the Roxicodone. Roxicodone is oxycodone and they are opiates just like morphine and heroin.

Unknown said...

Thank you for your website. I've been reading all I can and it really helps.

This past Wed, my son came to me and told me that he is addicted to heroin and has been smoking 3-4 bags per day for about a year. He is 20 years old. I was completely floored and clueless. I knew that he smoked pot and he told me he had tried some other drugs once or twice but didn't like them. Boy, was I naive!

On Thursday, he drove himself to my uncle's house in Fresno, CA. This is about 5 hours away from where we live. My uncle is a recovered heroin addict himself and the first person I called. He has been staying with him to detox cold turkey. Friday was his first day sober. Today, Monday, is day four. The first couple of days were horrible. He called me crying several times a day telling me he wanted to die. He was in a lot of pain and couldn't sleep. He called me at all hours of the night. Today, he sounded good. He still is so weak and has no stamina. He says he's always out of breath and achy but he is also talking about going back to college and excited about his future for the first time in a long time.

I have a couple of questions and would appreciate your advice.

1. How long should he stay away? My uncle says he should stay there for a month. First, to get everything out of his system. Second, to make sure he is mentally strong enough to resist not calling his old drug buddies the minute he gets back in town. My son wants to come home next week. My son says he has to face things himself and that he is the one who came to us and wanted this. He says he can't run away from this. What do you think?

2. How important is a 12 step program and NA meetings? My uncle never went to these and has relapsed several times (usually about 10 years apart). My son isn't in meetings now. He went to one meeting and says the people are weird and he wants to do private counseling through our insurance when he comes back. What do you think?

3. Does quitting drugs mean ALL drugs? I want my son to quit smoking pot, too. My uncle still smokes pot. My son is still smoking pot right now. My son justifies that in CA, it's basically legal and he can get a prescription and that compared to heroin, pot is nothing. I think, an addict is an addict. Quitting heroin is great but he is still looking to alter himself if he needs to smoke pot to get through the day. Am I over-reacting?

I hope I didn't overwhelm you with this "book" of questions. I look forward to hearing from you.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I can truly relate to being floored and clueless. I never imagined my daughter would ever think about using heroin....but she did.

!. I think you're Uncle is correct. He should stay there for a month or longer. I know he wants to come home and you want him to come home...but he really needs to stay for the reasons you listed.

2. I don't know that much about the 12 step program/NA meetings. My daughter went to a psychiatrist who prescribed counseling and suboxone. In my opinion that was the perfect combination for her. She only relapsed once.

3. My daughter still smokes pot...I think she is self medicating and I haven't been able to get her to go back to counseling.

Heroin addicts are really good at telling stories that make complete sense....don't fall for it. If for some reason he comes home he needs to immediately find a psychiatrist that will prescribe suboxone and go to weekly counseling sessions. Staying away from his friends/dealers, etc will be very very important. He needs to delete their numbers and stay away from the areas that he frequented. I hope I've answered some of your questions.

Anonymous said...

burnt spoons, or little pans, citric strips, citric acid, lemon juice, glasses of water (they mix citric and water with heroin to cook) baggys, lots of rolling filters, used filters on floor (crusty, brown, hard filters) cotton wool, tin foil runs out quickly, plastic caps off the tops of needles, wrappers for clean needles, needles themselves, blood spray on walls, floor etc.

floating eyes, falling asleep, coming out with random words, itching, scratching, panicing, pin point pupils, gouching, mood swings, agression LIES LIES LIES.
watch them whilst they sit at the telly or the computer, if theyre on it they wont realise your stare, they will sit with mouth open eyes half closed and not focused, then they will suddenly snap out and itch head, cheek, arms etc. they can also pretend theyre not gouching, by acting hyper, running about and talking non stop - they then have headaches because eyes hurt from trying to focus so hard.

check the bathroom - under the bath, behind the toilet and sink, on top of the mirror, needles can be anywhere, take out draws and look inside the cupboard that the draw came out of, listen to the path they take after leaving the bathroom when u suspect them.

they will blame you for it all they will blame the fact that there is paraphenalia in the house because theyre 'trying to clear it all out', they will blame long trips to the bathroom on diarrhea, they will come up with reasons why they cant or WOULDNT 'do it' - like if they 'have no money, no credit, no needles, no time to pick it up, no track marks on arms' etc. the thing is that they can get it dropped off, do it and be high in about 20mins - its all BOLLOX - they also do it in their feet, their groins, they calfs, legs, thighs, armpits, under the arms. look for numbers on phone u dont recognise, blank texts usually mean a dealer is in the area - the word 'livo' too means theyre on theyre ready. the dealers are bastards, if the user loses contact they will post things thru the doors, free hits are offered out etc.

buy drug tests online it stays in their system for 3-5 days - do one every 5 days - watch them piss in a cup dip it in and do it. make an agreement that u will do this so then they cant snap and go 'why are u interrogating me its not fair youre MAKING ME WANT TO DO IT'

good luck

i hate every day

Anonymous said...

There are a couple different kinds of heroin. Most of them need to be cooked from what I understand but in my area we have "china white" heroin. It is a white powder that dissolved instantly in water. It turns the water dark brown though. Some simple things you can look for besides cookers and spoons. Look for tops of cigarette filters bit off. Brown residue on a bottle cap. Drop of blood on rugs, clothes, furniture etc. When put a needle into your vain, it will bleed. Heroin also thins your blood so addicts will bleed a lot every time they "shoot up". Rapid weight loss or loss of appetite. Difficulty urinating. Listen outside the bathroom. A full blown habit is very hard to hide. Addicts may think people don't know, but it is fairly easy to tell when they getting high. You can also looks for signs of withdrawal. Sweats, frequent urination, vomiting, pupils will swell to the size of their iris, goosebumps, running nose, watering eyes, frequent yawning and sneezing. When I withdrawal I will sneeze 10 times in a row. They will have flu symptoms and will not be able to sleep for 2 or 3 days. DO NOT FORCE TREATMENT! I know its hard some times to watch some one in your family struggle with drugs but, if you force treatment then they will most likely go right back to it when they are released from the rehab. Sadly that is when most people die from overdoses. Their tolerance to the drugs decreases quickly and when they go back to it and try to their usual amount of the drugs and it can kill them. I am very against forcing treatment. Some people also say that you need to show tough love. Kick them out of the house and break ties so that they will hit rock bottom and have to get better. I disagree with that too. When you are on heroin, you lose a lot of your confidence and self worth. You feel like your a complete piece of shit, especially when you detox. The drug really has a strong effect on the brain and when you don't have the drugs, you go into a deep depression. Kicking a family member out on the street may make them want to die. Most people just look at the physical withdrawals and tend to forget about the mental. I think the best way to help them get off, is to be there for them. Don't give them money or make it any easier. Show them love, encourage them to be open with you so they are honest about their addiction and encourage them to get help. Suboxone and methadone are a big help. They won't get you high, but they take away most or all of the withdrawal so that getting off of heroin is tolerable. I am 25 years old, and I have been struggling with a heroin addiction for a long time. I am lucky enough to have a family that cares about me and can be open with them about my addiction. Although I am not completely off heroin at this point, I am much better then I used to be. I went from a full blown $400 a day habit to recreation use. I want to get off of it completely but I still have weak moments that I give into. I am a hell of a lot better then I used to be and its because I came clean to my family and they really try to help me. I know it takes its toll on them but with out them I would be on the street robbing people for the money to get high. Since I can be open with them, I can ask my mom for $10 for a suboxone instead of stealing money for heroin. It makes it so if I want to feel better, I have to go to them. If I go to them, I have to get a soboxone instead of heroin. So in a way, being open and depending on them, forces me to be clean. I hope some of this helps you. I really wish you and your daughter the best.

Anonymous said...

I have been the girlfriend of a heroin addict for eight years now. I have found drugs and drug paraphernalia EVERYWHERE you could POSSIBLY imagine. Because I hate what dope has done to my man, and because I know others are going through what I go through, here are places you need to look.
1)Inside of shoes
2)Inside of DVD or (especially) VHS sleeves
3)Inside toilet tanks
4)Small containers (like pill bottles)hidden in cereal-filled cereal boxes (and the like)
5)Bathroom trash cans, UNDER the bag
6)Inside of tooth floss containers (they pop open and u can EASILY hid stuff in there)
7)Inside your shower rod itself (it's hollow usually)
8)Taped under any furniture (my bf will rip the underside covering of a box spring/couch/etc out and shove it up in there too)
9)Tapes or tacked up behind wall art/pics

The list could go on and on. Be careful searching. You may find needles. They may not be capped. And if someone you know is using heroin as an IV can't trust them. Their needles could carry all sorts of god knows what disease. And I'm speaking from a CLOSE personal experience. Wear gloves. Protect yourself.
Addicts are creatures of habit. Follow your gut. If they stay in one room all the time...or take PROLONGED bathroom "breaks" at night...keep an eye out for repeated behavior. Once you know what room they use to do will narrow your search for finding the evidence. Harder than finding it though, is confrontation. Good luck. And be safe.

Anonymous said...

I feel hopeless. I have done everything you said, "NOT TO DO" . My only 20 year old son is a heroin addict. Has been for the last 3 maybe 4 years. I have forced him into rehab then sober living and detox again this year. Through all the treatment, I don't think he's ever really been sober. Now, I know why, it was all forced upon him. Recently, this week, my husband and I had "Safe" installed because of obvious reasons. My life has been more than miserable. I adore my son and would do anything for him, but he's consuming me . I have a husband and daughter I ignore cuz I'm worried about my son. This week I noticed a bruise on his leg, but I pray and don't think he's injecting?. I say pray, but I am ?ing GOD. My son came home this afternoon from picking up his pay check and I knew instantly he was "high". I asked to see his pay check stub and money, and he became very defensive. I then told him, if he can't show me what I was asking for, he needed to leave. He just got this job last week and was fired this week for not taking a test on line. He asked, with hid PALE face if I was serious ? I replied, "YES" . He grabbed his backpack filled it ANC left walking. I have not stopped crying since. He has also been seeing a psychiatrist in town once a month and they've prescribed him XANAX 1 mg. 4 times s day and RESTORAL 30mg. To sleep. For the month of AUGUST , he picked up his prescription on SAT. And was out my Tuesday of that week. When I found used foil on his bed TUESDAY morning I suspended his phone. So I have no way of knowing if he is OK. He took phone with him. I am worried sick, but I'm even more worried when he's home cuz of mood swings. I have a wonderful husband and has done way more for my son than his Dad ever has. My son was a 4 year athlete in high school and my daughter doesn't even drink and she's 23. I miss my SON. I had no idea you can inject in thighs or groin. My husband, daughter and I have decided the best place for my son would be a non profit rehab when hie gets tired of going from one house to another. Which kills me cuz my son has a very nice home. I
Fighting the devil with my son.

Dawn McCoy said...

Anon: shes using again, maybe not shooting up, but def on opiates

Anonymous said...

My prayers go out to all of you. I just got out of a relationship with a man that I absolutely had no clue was using. Before I met him, I knew he had a past with some narcotic. I thought it was coke. And since one of my ex's used to do coke, I thought I was in the clear about being able to tell the signs if he began using again. Well, coke wasn't his vice; heroin was.

These are the signs I now know were indicative of him using...though at the time, I was a complete fool.

-eyes rolling back in his head and him nodding off in the middle of conversation (this would happen before bedtime, so I just thought he was really tired..idiot)
-lying constantly about where he was
-needles in his sock drawer (he claimed it was when he used to use that is any better)
-keeping a spoon in his glove box which was wrapped in a plastic baggy
-fevers and vomiting
-constantly having no money and stealing from me
-raised, scabby bruising on his arms

I should have known, but sadly I didn't.

Anonymous said...

My husband shot up about everything in the 80's, then in 1993 got clean. He started using again in aprox. 2004..first pain killers, then snorting oxy's,but he has graduated to snorting heroine. I believe he has himself convinced that he has it under control because he is not on the needle.No, he has not admitted to using heroine, but I am 100% sure of it.He is very distant w me and it's lie after lie and absolutely never admits to lying.How I knew:pindot pupils, red nose,nodding off in a chair,and a super craving for chocolate, and of course friends who use.I can't force him clean..he has to admit he is addicted and he has to want help.All I can do is hope and pray that day will come. My question is:can snorting heroine cause death?or is it less harmfull?

Anonymous said...

I am not sure what to do for my sons' situation. They are both 20 and live at home. One has a job, one does not. For a few months I have suspected them playing around with pills. Recently their friends have said heroin, and they have been having friend over that are rumored to be into heroin as well. When I have confronted the boys, they say they are just playing around with pills and will stop. I smell strange smells like burnt brown sugar from their basement rooms and suspect it is not stopping. I have an adult daughter living at home with a baby and have grandchildren here frequently as well. I am going to school to be a teacher (of all things!) and I am in denial most of the time. I don't want to believe they are doing the drugs, but all of the signs are there. I don't know whether to just plain kick them out with no tolerance or let them stay here and try to help them. I want to believe they will just stop, but talking to them about that hasn't stopped the traffic in and out or the "friends" that hang out. I don't know how to do tough love, and my heart breaks to think of just kicking them out with no where to go. I have thought about giving drug tests with an clean or leave. Any advice?

Anonymous said...

I see this is from awhile ago, and I am so sorry for your pain. I hope you know that Xanax and Restoril, while not opiates, are highly addictive sedatives so be careful. I also recommend regular frequent visits (at least 2-3 weekly) to a therapist for what's behind the drug issue.

Anonymous said...

I was a huge heroin addict and never used a needle. Got to avg 10 x day & up. It's white & fluffy in Chicago. My nose was trashed with the rest of me. Deadly & extremely harmful.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend 35 and used heroin He admitted to me I helped him through his rattle and he says he now doesn't have the urge we also have a teenager in the house and recently money has been going missing he has promised me it isn't him but I just don't know if it me being paranoid or he is lying .????

Anonymous said...

To be fair, I have not once in my life touched heroin, and I am quite sure you could find bottled water, straws, small bags, and bottle caps in my bedroom quite often.

Anonymous said...

My 24 year old son has cheated death twice from an overdose of heroin (snorting), having found him in his room unconscious and rushed to the emergency room to be revived. He lives in our home, and is absolutely unbearable at times to live with. Other times he is caring, considerate and loving. He is in school, part time, with no motivation to get a job. This past weekend we discovered him once again using . He is now going through terrible withdrawal with all of the classic symptoms. He insists that he is a recreational user- and that he has gone long periods of time between using. He has dug his heels in with us about going cold turkey. He will not entertain any thought of seeking help- either in patient or outpatient. How can we force him into a program ? He is currently at the end of his probation and is about to be clear and have a clean record. I wish there was some way of diking this without him having a parole violation. Any advice ?

Anonymous said...

My daughter has struggled with addiction to various drugs since she was about 12 and has been in and out of treatment for both mental health and addiction since. At the age of 20 she became addicted to meth and lost everything (she had a child at 17 and had been on her own since then). She lost her job, her apartment, her car, and they were homeless. She was doing unthinkable things to survive and dragging her child through it all. I took her daughter for a few months and even tried to get 3rd party custody but the judge returned her to my daughter (despite the fact that she abandoned inpatient treatment after 3 days). Since then, she has had another child and within a couple months of delivery, began using herion. She told me after a few months of using and I then realized that she had been using any money I gave her for drugs. She is a master manipulator and, though I try not to be, I am taken in time and time again. Her children were removed from her home shortly after she told me about her herion addiction because of several CPS reports and placed with me and my husband. She did enter inpatient treatment and complete the program. Her children were again returned to her (a month out of inpatient!) mainly because she can really put on a mask and people believe she is doing great. A condition of keeping the kids is that she live in sober housing and continue with outpatient treatment, which she has done. The kids have been back with her for a few months and I just learned she relapsed and is now in stabilization treatment on a daily basis and has to return to intensive outpatient treatment, along with having other restrictions/boundaries, such as early curfew. I also learned that my oldest granddaughter (5 yrs old) has had continual problems in kindergarten and on the school bus. Most recently, a couple weeks after my daughter's relapse, she was expelled from school because she asked a classmate to hurt another kid. He did hurt the kid for her and both were expelled. I am seeing more and more behavioral and emotional issues and am so worried for both my grandchildren. They have lived very chaotic lives, as children of a drug addicted mother, and they continue to be affected. I am really concerned about ongoing neglect, verbal abuse (yelling and screaming at them), lack of boundaries, poor eating habits and health/dental care, etc. Nothing about their lives is "normal". On top of all this, my oldest granddaughter has an absentee father who came back into her life for regular visits during the few months I had the children and dropped out of her life again when the children were returned to their mother. My daughter is only 22 so she has been on this rollercoaster for nearly half her life...drugs and other methods of self-harm, teen pregnancies, unlawful activities to support the drug addictions, chaotic lifestyle, including living with other addicts, etc. I am so tired, sad, angry, depressed, worried, scared, etc., all the time. I know it is up to my daughter to decide if she is going to really quit herion, and all substances, or just play at recovery but it is so hard to watch what is happening to the children. I don't know whether to report my concerns since CPS is still overseeing the case or what. Her caseworker knows about the relapse. How do I know if my concerns rise to the level for me to get involved by reporting...especially since it seems some judge will just give the kids back to her again because she will put on a good act. Though she lives in sober housing owned by the treatment center, I am very concerned that my daughter is still really struggling with reovery and is mentally unstable and incapable of properly caring for her children. Any advice anyone can give is so appreciated. Thanks.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Dealing with this is a giant emotional roller coaster. It seems as though you and your daughter in so many ways are both lost. First, you need to breathe....You need to remember to take care of you "first" because if you're not taking care of yourself you can't possibly help or think straight about your daughter or grandchildren (I learned that the hard way).

Try to take a step back...breathe and talk to your daughter and simply let her know that you are there for her...and that you love her. Tell her that if she needs for you to keep the children anytime...that you will help her. Then, let it go. You've planted the seed, just give it time to grow.

Don't let her think that you want to take her children away from her and that she is a bad parent. She will only resent you for it and probably never let you see them, ever! I'm sure the CPS are very aware of the situation, especially since they are showing signs of anger in school. I would let them handle the situation and not become involved unless you see the violence or abuse first-hand. It will only create a volatile situation between you and your daughter if you talk to CPS behind her back about your concerns, nine times out of ten the CPS will tell her you talked to them. This will not help, because your daughter will be very angry at you.

I really hope some of these suggestions go do something for yourself for a change.

Anonymous said...

I hope this thread is still active? I've searched other forums but this one seems the most sincere.

About 8 months ago, my spouse informed me that "...." had been going to a methadone clinic for treatment of an "opiate addiction" for approximately 2 years. That's since progressed to suboxone , a psychiatrist, emergency room visits (one of which involved calling an ambulance).

After 8 months of this, I'm at the end of my rope. The complexity of the addiction is mind boggling. My spouse is on several prescribed meds and it's just impossible to distinguish the behavior of "...." being on the prescribed meds from the symptoms of being on heroin.

I'm hoping to hear back from a current or former addict that can shed some light on what I'm seeing. My spouse spends 4-6 hours a day in the bathroom (not in one stretch, but overall). "...." seems to be engaged in some sort of "cycling" as well. One day, nodding, falling asleep while standing or talking. A few days later, aching, moaning and puking. This cycle stops for awhile and then starts again every few weeks.

I can't pin "...." down on any of it, however. The reasons given by "...." for the behavior are anything from to an ongoing and still medically undiagnosed illness that my spouse claims to suffer from. "...." can't produce any medical documentation supporting any of it, despite countless trips to various doctors.

Thanks in advance for any insight into this.

Anonymous said...

Go to the naranon webaite and find a meeting near you!!

Krysten Dobbins said...

I am a recovering drug addict. I'm your typical trash can junkie, I'll do whatever drug is around but my 1st n only love was heroin. I've been clean for 18 months as of last Wednesday. I say that to say this, I've tried the methadone, got high on heroin while taking it n abused the methadone too, tried subutex, got high while on it n abused the subutex also, tried suboxone, got high on heroin while on it n I abused the suboxone. My mom is currently abusing n addicted to suboxone, the only thing I found that worked for me was kicking cold turkey while seriously working a program of narcotics anonymous, changing everything, the people I associate with n the places I go, getting a sponsor, n using the sponsor, I went to about 2-3 meetings a day for the first 6 months then at least 5 a week after that only cus I started working. I completely surrounded my life with NA n its working for me, so much so that my brother now has 9 months n my sister has 20 months n we all used heroin together, even my mom is beginning to address her drug use, I hope my story can help someone struggling or someone who loves someone struggling. I just want to give back what was so freely given to me. If I can help in any way please email me I will continue to pray for all the recovering addicts, the struggling addicts, n the family n friends of both. Much love n god bless

Krysten Dobbins said...

I did heroin n pills, I didn't nod. My mother wouldn't let me in the bathroom alone out of fear of what I was doin in there, whatever I can do in there I can do anywhere. I'd say any locked doors aren't good, I used to shoot up in the shower. Definitely long sleeves. Blowing through $, always needing $, sniffling a lot, carrying around water bottles, attitude changes from miserable to super happy, frequently sick or tired, change in hygiene, change in friends, I never used razors to snort, I used credit cards, lighters, n $ or any paper. I never used an altoid tin or knew anyone who did. But you might find tips with the cotton missing or just cotton balls, burnt spoons, shoe strings, belts, or anything that could be used to tie off, my arms were always a dead giveaway but I had a friend who shot in a tattoo on his forearm cus it hid the marks, basically I think if you even suspect your kids on drugs they probably are

Krysten Dobbins said...

Stay away as long as possible, I said all the same things your son is saying n I relapsed 2 days after being home, a 12 step program has saved mine, my sisters, n my brothers lives. I felt the same way your son did until I truly surrendered then I was willing to do anything, I had to quit all drugs, I tried just smoking pot until the day came where I couldn't get any or someone was there with heroin n that's all it took for me to be off n running again, your son reminds me of me before I really surrendered, I will pray for you n your son. I hope this helped

Jessica V. said...

All of these are signs to look for, another sign to look for is burn holes everywhere, on clothes, on bedding, in car, etc. Also they will often start nodding off and then blurt out something that makes No SENSE, although this can happen if person is really tired too, but, if it happens all the time and the person is nodding off while sitting there watching TV or talking, or even eating these are all signs. I want to tell all of you suffering and struggling through this, sobriety is possible!! My husband and I are coming up on 9 years clean. Well have 7 year old, 3 year old, and a bsby due in august!! We wanted to get clean and havent looked back since, 9 years without one relapse, no cravings or desires. We have normal life, wkthwitha family a home and great job, we r ableto pay are bills and buy rent kids things they need and want and we have nice things. we couldnt never jmagine doing drugs nkw that we have kids, we would never want to subject them to that, but, for some people power of addiction is stronger and they havent overcome it, for us we overcame if before having our first kid and we wanted it nobody forced us into it. We made decision to change becajse we wanted to and we overcame that power of the drug. So it is definitely possibly and in reach for many but they have to want it, u cant force them or they will fail!! Also, methadone maintenance. And suboxone treatment are great at helpimg achieve sobriety, however, omce again person has to want it. If their only using these treatments as backup if they can't get their drugs then the treatment won't work, but, if they go into treatment and want to get clean, they have better chance of it wworking!! Expect your loved ones to relapse several times their journey for sobriety. When I was forced into treatment I relapsed, however, 9 yeads ago I choose get clean with my husband and neither of us have relapsed in last 9 years. But that doesnt mean your loved one wont, it's the power of the drug. Be loving, be there for ur loved one emotionally, but if their using don't enable them by giving them money, rides, etc. Stand your ground. U enabling themwill not help either of you!! Dont force either, just give them love and tell them you'll be there when their ready to make changes!! Good luck everyone, prayers for all of you!! !

Anonymous said...

The first thing I noticed was that all of our spoons were disappearing. I couldn't understand it, and didn't figure out until quite awhile after I learned about the heroin use, why the spoons were disappearing.00

NeelyOhara said...

"If you find bottled water, straws, small bags, bottle caps, etc. in their room they are using heroin"

Not trying to be mean, but I was a heroin user for 5 years, and all of those signs could be proof of ANY drug (cocaine, meth, etc...) And just because a child leaves bottled water, and bottle caps in their room does NOT mean they are using heroin. But most other signs are correct, such as always wearing long sleeves. I was guilty of that. But a lot of the things you listed can make parents freak out over little things that may not even be drug related.

Scared to Death said...

I was just reading through this bolg and realized I had already not only read this but posted on it Jan 31 of 2012 WOW my biggest fears were realized, a few after my post two of her three children came to live with me (for a month while she got help for other drugs so she said) well its a yr later I have permanent custody of the oldest two children and my mother cares for the youngest, my daughter was given a surprise drug screen by children services and was positive for Suboxone, Heroin and Cocaine (of course she says it was the first time ) Reading all of this only depresses me more because she still denies using even though she weighs nothing lives off my mom is prostituting, and hates me wants me to die in one text and 20 min later all is forgotten, my once almost perfect marriage is almost over ,The college degree I was pursuing has come to a sudden halt MY life OUR lives remain on some crazy crazy circle of destruction and the only one who does not care is my Daughter . I had an addiction as a young mother not heroin or opiates and I never saw my daughters addiction coming till it was to late. My daughter LIES as well as she breathes sometimes I swear I believe her just not to feel the hurt any more. My advise to every parent is never think it cant happen to your children or that your actions s a parent wont effect them as adults. I love my daughter she was my best friend and I hate that as of now I don't even like her a little. Hopeless but hanging on for my Grandchildren :(

Anonymous said...

How do you tell the signs of marijuana use and heroin use? The symptoms seem so similar.

We just discovered our 20 yr old son is a heroin user. My husband walked in on him as he was inhaling from the foil mentioned in other comments. My son and I are close and he couldn't face me when my husband told me what he discovered. Once I gave him time to cool down and I could gather myself enough to talk with him, the three of us tried to have a conversation. He is denying he has a "problem" but was using to relieve the stress of him moving back home after being on his own for a year. Him and my husband do not get along and don't communicate well, leaving me to mediate during our discussions. He smokes marijuana quite often so we are used to the small pupils and glassy eye look. The slow and slurred speech when he talks and the laid back, relax look he has. Now I'm wondering if it is the marijuana or is it heroin. He is refusing to seek help for "a problem he doesn't have and it was a mistake and won't do it again. He can quit whenever he wants". We are thinking of the option to allow him to live here if he seeks help, but will that make matters worse? Im so lost in this unfamiliar territory I don't know how far to push the tough love without pushing him over the edge.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to post that im sorry to all the moms and families this has effected. I just got out of detox for heroin use for the past 4 years, IV use. Its hard. Very hard. Another sign is the lack of spoons in the house disappear, splatter from the needle tip on walls, floors, etc. I know my mom kept asking me where all my spoons were and I just kept telling her I didn't know. Defensiveness, yelling, denial, all of it goes right along with it. Ive been on suboxone for ten days now and finally feel like myself again. This is my third attempt at getting clean and this time I wanted it for all the right reasons. Its not easy, but with na and aa meetings and support it can be done. Please don't give up on your loved ones, but do show them tough love. Its the only way.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure if my son is using heroin or not either..but he has been a pot smoker for the last 8 years and swears that is all but my daughter tells me he looked funny last night like he was half propped up on the bed with all his clothes and shoes on and just looked weird. They are living at my ex husbands house where there are no boundaries and their dad travels a lot so I cant even say he would notice the signs. My son is 25 and hasnt lived here since his sophomore year in college. I am scared for his life as I have known people with drug addictions and it is hell on earth. How long does heroin stay in your system and will it show up in a pee test or only a blood test..He has always been a clammy sweaty kid but I will say he has no confidence and has no job other than making music which he does not get paid for...just hangs out doing what he"loves" He just lives off of my ex and I dont know how to help. I will have a conversation with him in as loving a way possible but when I have approached this before he gets defensive. I did test him when he was 20 and he tested positive for THC only..Blood test given by a doctor. HELP! any advice is much appreciated and thank you to all the people who took the time to b so generous with their heart goes out to all struggling with addiction of any kind

Anonymous said...

I found out yesterday that my 21 year old daughter is using heroin. I am so sad. I know I cant force her ti get treatment because it will only fail, but, she has a baby and I cant just let the drug use continue. She says she wanys help but the only reason she even told me is because she was sick and she wanted some heroin and had no way ti get it.

Anonymous said...

I've read all of these posts tonight. I had my husband removed from the home in 9/09 for domestic violence and what I thought to be alcohol addiction and prescription drug abuse. It was the single most difficult thing I ever had to do. I could have lost my daughters to DCFS if I didn't.

After a year of him missing court or showing up and lying, the judge gave him unsupervised visitation. The judge never met me or him. She just assumed I was lying about his troubles because many do, I guess. He showed up drunk for that first unsupervised visit. Visitation was revoked, unless a supervisor was present. I made it affordable for him, but he never took me up on it.

He sad sorry three years later for "how things went down." I accepted and was grateful for his apology.

He died 2/2/13 at age 44. His dad told me alcohol killed him. I was shocked to get the autopsy last week saying accidental death due to ingestion of heroin.

I'm on this blog looking for signs I missed. As I'm doing so, I'm finding heart wrenching stories and I'm so sad for all of you and will do whatever I can do to help. I will tell you, long sleeves in warm weather, pinpoint pupils, and falling asleep on the toilet with his head on the ground all struck me as something a drunk person wouldn't do. I think he quit for a time of about four years when I married him and went back to it later.

Anonymous said...

How long does it take to detox and how bad is withdrawal. Can someone do it at home or do they have to be in a rehab?

Anonymous said...

Cash and electronics missing. A personality change. My son normally is an introvert. When he's using, he is bright, talkative, and helpful.

sarah n said...

my daughter is 19 and is addicted to heroin. she wont admit it but now that I have read everyone's comments I know she is. She has always denied being on it she said her boyfriend was but not her. I knew the pupils weren't right or her behavior and the lies and the stealing she said was all her boyfriend but it was both of them. They would work as a team to get what they wanted. She is so close to going to jail right now for stealing and writing bad checks. I hope she goes even though I just got her a job where I have worked for the past 14yrs. A damn good job with the government. I would rather her go to jail than to find her dead. She has managed to piss everyone in the family off I am the only one left that will have anything to do with her. What do I do??? I am in shock still. I just want to grab her and shake some sense into her but I can't do anything but sit here and wonder how did I miss this??? How do I get her to see she needs help???

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I'm so sorry! It's difficult for a parent to find out their daughter is using heroin. They will convince you they aren't using drugs too, because they are master manipulators. Don't trust her, let her know that you love her and you're sorry she's gotten herself in this situation and that you're there for her if she ever decides to do something about it. It's difficult to sit there and not be able to help your child, but in this situation you can't. Don't beat yourself up either - she made the bad choices, not you. Didn't she take a drug test to get the gov job? What about random drug tests at work? You might want to tell her that they randomly test at work. About the jail thing: I don't think jail is the appropriate place for drug addicts, never have. Substance abusers need psychiatric help because it is a medical/health issue.

I confronted my daughter who was 19 at the time and told her I knew she was using heroin. Of course she denied it. I explained to her that I didn't care if she was smoking marijuana or taking valium, etc. and that I was only concerned with opiates or heroin use. I then told her that if she wasn't using heroin that she wouldn't mind taking a drug test. I held up the drug test I bought for $10 bucks and asked her to take it. She refused. Later, I found out she was using heroin. So, my thoughts are if they refuse to take a drug test then they are definitely using.

Anonymous said...

My son has been battling heroin for the past 6 years or so. He used to be the cutest blonde haired-blue eyed teenager. Now, he's a mean, 26 yr old with scabs all over this face. He has no job,no money, no nuthin' in his life. It is the saddest thing ever. We have spent tens and thousands of dollars on rehab for him. He got out of a 6 months stay on June 10, 2013. He started using again almost immediately. I have so much anger and resentment toward him and he takes everything out on me. Just an awful situation. IN the meantime, I buy his cigarettes, put gas in his car, etc... I KNOW I KNOW!

Mary said...

Mary said
I've expected my 23 year old daughter was doing heroin over the last 6 months are so.Just as My daughter addiction said she didn't take care of herself anymore.Hardly any eye contact, mood swings.She just admitted to me yesterday that she's snorting Heroin. I'm a nurse and see the effects of this drugs and know it usually results in death. I am heartbroken and petrified .She's been stealing from us on and off over the last 3 years. this past sat. We noticed a dorm size refrigerator gone then we noticed our wedding bands were gone my grandmothers too.sound systems, we reported it to police but they still haven't pressed charges on her yet. I want her locked up so I know she's alive.When she texted me yesterday she agreed to rehab, I got a bed and she has not kept her word to go.I have too the place back in one hour.We have changed our locks, she said mom do you think I want to steal from my parents, for christ sake I steal train parts. I was at work in a hospital and lost it sobbing.I think about her every minute.I run for the phone everytime it rings waiting for the police to call or the morgue.I just don't know what to do.She started with percocets and said they were too much money. I freaking hate this drug.

Anonymous said...

i work with someone...i don't know about addicts...but I've read every single comment...we work in a restaurant so no "nodding off"....but her hands are definitely funny lookin....purplish-gray where someone's green-blue veins should be....EVERYONE talks about how "frequently" she visits the restroom....she looks tired all the time...but says she's fine....she does slur when so upbeat at work i just keep thinking she needs a 'pick-me-up'...she wore long sleeves was 82 this a user?..and if so, should i tell management?

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to all of you either with the addiction or who has a loved one with it. My beautiful 20 year old son is struggling with the addiction. He went from a 270 lb very active, excellent high school football player to a 155 lb person with no interest in life. He has been arrested twice and totalled 3 cars in 2 years. He has been able to hold onto his job but I'm not sure for how much longer. I knew something wasn't right with him but he always had an answer when questioned about something. Oneday something told me to start searching his room and bathroom. Under the bathroom sink I found a shoelace and a burnt spoon. The feeling that took over my body was overwhelming. I couldn't believe what I found. When confronted, ofcourse, he didn't know anything about it. I looked at his arm and that confirmed it. He's been on the suboxon program for 6 weeks now with a blood test being done every week. I still feel like he's using heroin but don't know how he can pass the blood test if he is. If anyone knows, please share. This has been the hardest 6 weeks of my life. Good Luck to everyone going through this.

Anonymous said...

3 times a coworker has gone out to her car for about 15 minutes. When she comes back in, her eyes are glazed, speech slurred, gait unsteady. She almost falls over when she leans to do something. Yesterday this happened and she fell, slurred her speech very badly, went to office to sit down and fell asleep. Does this sound like a heroin high? The other 2 workers called the boss/owner about her, but it took the boss over an hour to get there. By then she was awake and doing less weird things. She told the boss she had encephalitis, but we other workers know better. She was wasted. Boss asked if she would take a drug test and she kept saying 'sure, lets go'. Boss thought she was sincere , that no one high would say OK to a drug test. The gals husband came to pick her as she was still too wasted to drive. I have been around for many years and have seen a lot of wasted folks but never a heroin high (that I know of). This sounds like it to me though. What does anyone else think?

Andwoo said...

"Anonymous said..."

EVERYONE talks about how "frequently" she visits the restroom....she looks tired all the time"

It is unlikely she is shooting heroin every time she goes to the bathroom. 1 Hit will get most users through a working day.

Cocaine on the other hand gives users the impulse to constantly re-dose and it can be every 30 minutes or so, but she certainly wouldn't seem tired.

"she wore long sleeves was 82 this a user?..and if so, should i tell management?"

Is she doing her job to an acceptable standard? If so, what do you have to gain by telling management? As long as her behaviour, timekeeping, attitude etc are all good, why give her any more problems than she already has?

Anyway to the point I'm posting about...

I'm 31 and I've been using Heroin recreationally now for about 2 years and neither patent have any idea. I live with my mother to assist her with her health and mobility requirements.

It would be harder to conceal a full blown addiction but for infrequent use its easy to come up with excuses to me having a puffy face or eyes or be scratching a lot or nod off whilst watching TV.

Unless you had a suspicion to begin with AND knew what to look for 95% of parents will have no idea what their offspring are doing.

That's why I think this is a great blog as it normalises healthy suspicion AND tells the parents what to look for.

Incidentally if you do find out your child is using heroin don't overreact. It wont improve matters for the better in any way. You need to have a structured logical approach about how best you can HELP them.

I've been using heroin recreationally for around 2 years now.

But its a small part of my life that I have tightly controlled and only use when I want to and as such it has not been detrimental to my life.

I work as a systems engineer, own 4 rental properties, etc... Nobody apart from a few close friends know I use heroin so don't overreact before you know the situation and extent of any problem.

Some people use it once and never return to it.

Tired man said...

I am the husband of a heroin Addict , the biggest tale tale signs are. Constant nodding...burn holes everywhere ( bed ,couch,carpet, burn holes at the base of the toilet or burn marks from cigarettes sitting on sink while they shoot up....twitching at night bad when she does sleep...face is butchered from hours and hours picking her face.....her body looks like a war zone of needle marks....( I doubt Normandy during ww2 has taken as many hits....every time she leaves to do a simple gas station run it takes her a hour or better...her eyes ( pupils our pin pricks) shell go from up and moving to crash and burn in minutes....she always rambles when trying to explain herself...when we are working or doing a task together her actions a movements are really confusing and explosive when her Brain finally computes what he is doing....she does not sleep at night but instead nods out hundreds a times a day in short 10 to fifteen minute she rides her roller coaster ...........but the number one sign that I have noticed and I have not seen on any other posts yet........The Hick Ups!!! She constantly has uncontrolled hiccups that last all day!! I am to the point that I feel it's time to tell her goodbye....I love her so much...but she running my life....

Charisma Lovell said...

does heroine decrease in sexual stamina? I recently found out that my boyfriend has used again, and now his desire for romance isn't there, and his appitite increases really late at night. Is that normal? Please help me

Anonymous said...

Hi I am an addict in recovery and I haven't used in 17 months thanks to narcotics anonymous, unfortunately it sounds like your daughter has the disease of addiction. And she will not be able to stop until she truly wants to and wants to accept help, by helping her when she is not ready and by giving we a place to live you are enabling her, I know this will be hard to hear but the best thing you can do is do nothing for her, she needs to go to narcotics anonymous , if she is an addict that can't stop on her own then no professionals will be able to help her not even the best in the world, what she needs is other addicts who have been where she had been and who are now in recovery to help her as they are the only people that truly understand we understand how her head works and can help her, try and get her to some meetings. And then se needs to be going at least to one a day minimum!! There is hope , I was a hopeless addict who now has everything in my life thanks to NA !!! Life is beautiful today, I pray for your daughter and you, remember there is a way out for her she just has to see the light and want to stop for herself !

Anonymous said...

hi - my son is 23 years old, and a heroin user. He can stop for 2 or 3 weeks and then his depression will strike, and then he'll 'self medicate' to calm down for a few days. Then on and on it goes, he goes cold turkey, gets low, starts again. He has seen many doctors for his mental health problems, but he is certain they cannot help him. He is resigned to be being insane. At the moment he has huge sores behind his ears, where he has tried to rip all the badness out. He also has a sore on his temple. It is so green it has caused his eye to swell and close. He will not go to the hospital for anti-biotics, he is 6ft 2 tall, I cannot drag him there
He is a beautiful boy, I want to lay down and weep for him. What the fuck happened to us?

Anonymous said...

All drug users have there own unique signs. You maybe looking for a sign that's on here and not see it. In fact maybe the opposite, which will throw you off and make you unsure. For example, when I was using heroin. I became very meticulous, everything had to be spotless, every object in the house had to have a perfect amount of space between it. I cleaned nonstop and always fast. I went to Hot Yoga everyday, never missed a day and was never tired. My skin was pale and had acne very rarely but when I did it was a large bump. I think most addicts pick or scratch their skin. Me, it was not so much as scratch but pick and it would be my shoulders and chest. I would think there was a blackhead but there wasn't and I would try to clean it until it would bleed. Also, every now and then, for a week or so, I would have many bruises on my legs. My track marks were not as noticeable. I became rather good at getting the vein but there would be tiny red marks and sometimes a bruise around it. I would try different areas for injection, such as in between my Big toe, or on top of my foot. I always injected on my right arm though. Maybe it was because it was stronger. Be sure to check both arms. My personality change was my biggest sign, I turned into a very organized person, which I am a usually a free spirit. I'm always clean but not always tidy or quite on time. When I was using, I had a schedule for the drug. I never used too much in the day, which would make me presentable to the world so no one could notice. I would wake up earlier then usual because I had an alarm in my body that told me it's time to use. It would be 5, 6 am and I would go straight to the bathroom. There would actually sometimes have a smell from the cooking, that would waft through the whole apartment. I turned into an extrovert with unlimited amount of energy. I ate very little and sometimes would binge on sweets that were easy to go down, such as ice cream or yogurt. Which would make me vomit cause my stomach wasn't used to so much. My Aunt is also a heroin addict, she has the same habits with the cleaning and organizing. Exactly the same. Anyway, it's almost a year since I've stopped. July 1st 2013. I've been on Suboxone which is a hell of a drug to get off of. If I knew how hard it is to get off of it, I would've did the cold turkey and kicked the habit with no substitute. The half life of suboxone makes the withdrawal symptoms longer, lasting for 2 weeks every time you taper. Which can make it up to 6 months of detoxing/withdrawal symptoms just to get down from 8mgs of the sub. Painful and not fun. Lots of love and support worked with me and lots of babying during withdrawal. Then tough love once I was through the pain. Hope my story helps. I would try an at home drug test. Lots of attention. My husband would come home at lunch if he could, make sure I never went out alone, and I wasn't allowed cash only credit, and always had to bring receipts home or else he would send me to treatment.

Anonymous said...

LORD--I read some of these and WOW! Some of you ......ugggh! I've now been a heroin addict for 17 years. I did every kind of drug--and quit them all on my own. When it came time to try Heroin and people warned me--I wasn't scared. It is the only thing that has been strong enough and IS strong enough to keep people from getting fully clean (as far as I'm concerned). The lady wanting to know about the vegetable oil in her daughters room.....maybe it was something totally innocent OR maybe vegetable oil helps get the black marks off of the back of the spoon--Idk--I use a cooker. The very bottom of an aluminum can--that's a cooker. The people on here saying Methadone is a waste of time and money--it's probably the reason why most of us can hold down a job and NOT support our habits by stealing and hooking and robbing. Don't hate something you're not in a position to know the good that it can do. The woman that says she kinda wishes her kid was in the grave--because of the lying--wow, I don't even know what to say to you--Really!? Do you know how many people with dead kids would give their right arm just to have their child HERE to lie to them again? Listen--I told my mom this....this addiction is like having a little asshole living inside your head and you're fighting him/her for control. When you're telling the lies--you REALLY BELIEVE THE SHIT YOU ARE SAYING--then when you get some money in your hand here comes that little asshole (Slick) and he has the ability to make you pull the wool over your own eyes. It has to be the same as a dual personality, I think. After years of this back and forth you finally start fighting Slick inside your head--"NO, I'm NOT telling them I'm gonna use the money for help--I know what's gonna happen as soon as I get it!! You're gonna make me go get dope!" I know it doesn't seem that way from your point of view. I do not know anyone who has actually gotten off of it--unless they quit when they only had been using a small amount of time. The longer you go--the harder it will be. But--I think I've been very lucky, too. First time I went out to prostitute myself I got arrested before I even got there. I have always worked, and that work-ethic is probably the only normal thing about my life. I don't use but every weekend--not on weekdays, because if I do I won't eat (or have cigarettes)--I have learned, with Methadone to control Slick (to some degree). It IS possible to get a handle on things. In the beginning I was a F**KING nightmare too. I remember hearing a saying--How do you know when an addict is lying? When his lips are moving. I don't lie. I have never been a prostitute. I don't steal anymore. I live on my own and I work a full-time job. I know drunks and just low-life fu**s that are NOT heroin addicts that don't even do that. I look down on people that don't work for a living and sit around collecting a check. Meanwhile people have the nerve to look down on me because I got addicted to a substance that is so addictive few people ever get off of it for good? Everything is relative. Count your blessings--and do what my mother did for more help. Tough love. It's the only reason I'm alive now. Hope I helped--really, I do. Let me sign this...An Addict--but NOT a Piece of Shit

Anonymous said...

I'm facing the fact that my18 year old son is addicted to heroin. He's going into detox and inpatient rehab tomorrow morning for the first time, and I'm praying he'll never need it again. He didn't tell me it was heroin, I found many of the items that have been mentioned before in his room, such as water, bottle caps with a bit of cotton, and belts on the floor. He also looked terrible, not really caring how he dressed, his face looking tired and sunken, and basically not caring about anything that was once important to him. He also stole from all of us, which was a big indicator as well, even after confronting him, giving apologies, etc. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and fills me with anger as well. My heart goes out to all the families and addicts dealing with this. I was one of those who thought "this can never happen to one of my kids", and guess what? it did, it can happen to anyone, and I pray for us all.

Anonymous said...

A while back my nephews father tried to murder him, landing my nephew in the hospital in a coma at one year old. Needless to say he is now epileptic and mentally retarted (severely). My family had enough dysfunction before this as my mom had 4 kids by 26 and my dad was abusive and a drug addict. Mine and my siblings lives has always been up and down. My mom dated some sketch balls who were abusive to her and us. Two of my brothers are recovered alcoholics and were chronic pill poppers. My older sister drinks a lot and now my mom does too. Luckily I am an adult with my own family now and can distance myself. My oldest sister was a trouble maker and a drug user (pills alcohol weed coke) from a young age. She had a baby when she was a teenage somewhat cleaned up and then after her son it has all been downhill. I just want my sissy back. Its been almost 10 years since her sons "accident" and every year she gets worse. I love her so much and I just want to help her but I know there is nothing I can do and nothing I can say to make it go away. My nieces father was in and out of prison and a few years ago passed away from drugs. My sister has been abusing alcohol xanax and pain killers for years now and has had multiple suicide attempts. However these past 6 months I know she is on something far worse. She has lost a ton of weight, she probably went from 180 to 120. Her skin in pale... she cannot pay attention. She is always sleeping and always throwing up from what I hear. Then the other morning I stopped in to see her at 10am and her son was wide awake and she was passed out cold on the couch which is not like her. She woke up and could not look at me in the eyes and kept falling asleep. She usually is a chatter box and wouldnt say two words to me. Her teeth are so yellow now. None of her clothes fit her and she told me she just filed her taxes (its august) and someone stole her money so she is broke now. I have a gut feeling but am hoping it is not heroine. My husbands best friend just died from heroine at 35 years old. I want her to know I see her pain, I do not think anything less of her, I love her so much! We have been through so much together. I would do anything to help her. I know she wont admit she has a problem but she has been hanging around with shady people. Her last boyfriend wore an anklet because he was on parole. I want my babies to know the loving women that she is. I know she feels like she has nothing left to live for. But she has so much potential and hope! I wish she could see that! I am so scared the next time my phone rings it will be to let me know she is dead. Any suggestions?

Enoranthos said...

You people make me sick, you have no idea what some people go through in life. Its not the drug that is the problem. Switzerland i believe has a heroin maintainence program where you pay, the give you regulated doses up to 3 times a day. The danger with opiates of any kind is the shit they are cut with, opiates are far less dangerous than alcohol, crack meth ect.. People OD because H isnt regulated, if it was and people knew what they were getting it wouldnt be a problem. Like i said if you have a normal dose everyday you can live a normal life. Just because someone does drugs doesnt make them scum like 90% of american seems to think. I have a disc protrusion in my back, i need pain meds but cant get them now because of all of the government interference, same with my fiance she has 3 discs out in her neck and 2 out in here back, and we both suffer from debilitating migraines nearly everyday. Yet she is 24 and her doctors say oh thats to bad live with the pain because we arent going to help you. So according to our lovely doctors and government, she should work her job lifting people as a nurses aid and causing strain on her back without anything but asprin to help which doesnt help at all just because they think she is too young. So we have to get our shit from the streets. So dont judge people, lets see would you rather see your kid dead or addicted to drugs which if they were pure and dosages were monitored they would live normal life. I think you would all choose to have them alive but "addicted" to opiates, if you would rather see your child dead then you are a moron. Drugs are not the problem the problem is Past Trauma weather it be, physical or mental. IF people have a right to self medicate with alcohol then the same should be for opiates. Since opiates do far far far less damage than alcohol and are safer to use when driving. The government needs to stop putting their nose where it doesnt belong and maybe we wouldnt have so many over doses or crime/drug related deaths

Anonymous said...

Hello i am the wife of a recreational heroin user. All of the signs i have read about are his actions. I have tried yelling sceaming an now just calmness an letting him know that i know. Its hard because i have resentment and anger when he uses. I guess all i can do is focus on myself an continue to pray for him. It is so difficult as he works 3rd shift and i work a 9-5 job, so he has plenty of free time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Edward J Cejka said...

This is a very nice post thanks for sharing it.

Anonymous said...

My 19 year-old daughter has been using drugs since she was 15. One of her boyfriends got her into heroin. In March, she gave birth to a baby boy who was addicted to heroin. She had been using throughout her pregnancy and it was heartbreaking to see the baby fighting off the addiction for a full month. My daughter and the supposed father were both in jail shortly after the birth, and the baby was placed in my wife and my custody. When my daughter was released from jail in July, my wife and I allowed her to move into our home to bond with the baby. We also got her into an out-patient drug treatment program and drove her around to different restaurants until she got a job as a waitress. In addition, we took her to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. As soon as her boyfriend was released from jail, she started taking off with him and was soon back on heroin, out of the rehab program and out of a job. They lived in his car and she got a job as a stripper, because it paid more. None of the money came to us to care for her child, if all went to drugs. In late November, the judge elected to leave the child with my wife and me, since the parents still didn't have there stuff together. We moved across the country for work and, out of an abundance of misguided generosity, offered our daughter the opportunity to come live with us to bond with the child. She came out, went through physical withdrawal from the heroin and soon found a waitressing job. We hoped that a new start in a strange environment and none of her old friends around might be just what she needed to get her act together. But yesterday I found a syringe and spoon under her bed. We have asked her to pack up and get out because the drugs and her drugged behVior are a threat to the baby (now 9 months). Are we doing the right thing?

Anonymous said...

First I would like to say that no one wants to, or makes a choice to be a heroin addict. I believe that most people experiment with alcohol or pot, and one or both wakes up the Addiction. Thanks to big Pharma some folks start there by accident. No matter how they get there, they don't want to be there. Try to remember that inside this beast is your child, and there is no right or wrong way. There are a lot of sayings, but truly it's God's will what will happen. I guess I get by trying not to enable, but always letting my son know he is loved, and can come for help anytime. They have to be ready, and we can't make them ready. It's a nightmare, praying for us all.

I💉2L!v3/❤/gRW!!==2Y*U said...

I'm 22 & use Heroin recreationally. I started about 2 years ago Due to quadding accident when I was13, riding as a passenger w/a friend.going home before dark,we took a sharp turn, and flipped the quad, I was thrown onto a tree stump sticking in mylower back when the quad flipped on me& had me pinned over an hour. I shifted all the vertabraes in the lower half of my spine, pinching 4 sciatic nerves. Dr. Said something eazy like lifting a box wrong and be paralyzed.Tried pain pills,Both made me extremely sick, couldn't do anything,and puke in my sleep. Heard how Heroin is =morphine,helped w/pain.Used safely&smart you will be productive&aware surroundings.I tried it, and was more productive @work,active& to finally play with my lil brother and nieces cuz I'm not in pain.Not saying that makes H ok& people should do it, but ppl need 2stop B-ing closed minded and judgemental.because not all H users do it 2 bcome a junkie&high.Situations like mine, I use 2live a somewhat normal, happier,painfree life. Evry 2wks I get paid &manage bills, put $savings account, Buy enough H til Nxt payday in 2wks. MAX# a day= 4 IV shots. Any extra & i get withdrawls bcuz i wasnt sparring.So stop thinking all H users R a junkie, thief,liers& a P.O.S.

Dean Reese said...

I agree that it is so important to know the signs and what you are dealing with. This can really help prevent future addictions and open the doorway to what is happening. Personally, I've been concerned with my own daughter and am not sure if she has been on drugs before. However, I'll have to keep these warning signs in mind so I am able to know whether she is or not. Hopefully this helps me figure everything out!

Anonymous said...

Pardon me for just jumping right in and laying it out. For those still asking about signs:- its a long list so hang in there- extreme dry coughing (worse at night or while lying down & if H is smoked idk about injecting it), complaints of possible strep throat, missing work/ school, bottle caps, pen casings (u might only find the ink), small foil pieces (if used will typically look like black permanent narker lines were drawn on it w/some shadowing), your foil constantly disappearing, cut straws, tooter pipes (a harder plastic straw thats swiggly looking near the top but only a small portion & the rest is straight), tiny baggies, burn marks on thumbs, acne, always cold, slacking in personal hygiene, nodding out, slurring words, depression, moodiness, irritability, increase in junk food consumption & non healthy eating, wasted food constantly or making food but forgetting they made it, diarrhea (withdrawing), constipation, complaints of muscle twitching, burned tongue, burned spoons, cooking oil, razor blades, selling their clothing, stealing. My daughter started using H (smoking not injecting) when she was 17 & a senior in HS (luckily she graduated). Shes been using H almost 2 yrs & alternated later on between meth & H. If she couldn't get one, she'd get the other. The dead give away to me that she was using was the cough & getting sick a lot. She would "hang out" with friends over the wknd & on Sunday night be coughing bad. Monday morning she was too sick for school. Sometimes the cough went on for a week & sometimes the cough just vanished! It vanished because smoking H suppresses the cough & when they have been using but stop, the cough is no longer supressed. Had repeated diagnosed bouts of strep throat. Sometimes no strep just felt like it. Her appearance changed. Puffy eyes and just looked I'll. Started cutting some classes but argued there was a sub & it was a mistake when marked absent & the school called. It can take awhile for some of the other symptoms to appear as the addiction progresses & gets worse so dont expect tsamee al if the above symptoms at once. When it comes to shooting up, I'm not sure if exactly the same symptoms. If I could go back in time, I'd do a lot of things differently. I enabled my daughter because I didn't know what else to do. She wasnt an adult yet I couldn't force rehab. I just kept hearing "I'm not addicted, I just use a little" I took her phone away, grounded her, etc. She finally went to rehab for 30 days & her first night hone she left & used. Tried suboxone for 5 days & did great but bf relapsed and she followed. Tried helping her quit 5 times & she always went back. I have 2 other kids & could no longer allow her to live here & use in the house. I finally gave her a choice 1) go to rehab or 2) move out. She chose to leave & it broke my heart. The drug roller coaster is consuming to both the addict & their loved ones. I had to realize her addiction was hers & not mine. I tell her every day I love her but I will not enable her. When ready to get clean, I'll help her but until then, I won't. I will never turn my back on her but I won't help her to use. Good luck to all of you going through this. If you can get them into an at risk program or forced rehab at a younger age? Do it! If you dont, u will regret it later.

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old thread, but I really feel the need to share. My daughter (only child 33yrs old) has just started snorting heroin. She has 5 children (ages 18mo - 11yrs) and I am beside myself with worry. In 90 days she has gotten 2 DUI's and one of them she had a neighbors child in the car with her so she was also charged with child endangerment. She IS going to jail. I can't take care of her children due to my health issues, and even if I could, I dont have room for 5 children in my small house. So they will go to foster care. I am so sad, embarrassed, and worried. Mostly for the kids at this point. She has lied and lied and lied to the point no one believes her. The rest of the family doesn't want anything to do with her and at this point, I dont either. We live in a very small town (less than 500) and the looks I get, the whispers and stares, they're becoming intolerable. She gave away her home. Yes, gave it away. She owned it outright, no mortgage, and just signed it over to 'a friend'. She has moved to another town, and it seems as if since the move she's getting worse.
Thoughts? Advice? How do I let these kids know that I havent abandoned them? I feel so helpless and alone!

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you for sharing your story with us because right now I'm going through the same situation with my drug addiction husband but he doesn't want to admitted to me he is doing heroin with his bad friends outside of his marriage but I really want to help him through it and I don't know how to approach him about his addiction for the sake of our marriage, because his addiction got him doing adulterers , got him kick out from our house, wasting all our money from our bank account, he doesn't take care of himself anymore,he have bruise on his arms , but he does still going to work to pay our house bills too. But I don't know what can't I do to help him found his way back home to us again because I still love my husband to good time and bad time because I'm a born again Christian & I believe given second chance. Please tell me what can I do for him? Thanks

Anonymous said...

My son is a recovering heroin addict.The best information I found to help myself and my son is called No more letting go By Debra Jay. Another helpful book My Daily Bread by Father Anthony Paone,Battle Field of the mind by Joyce Meyer,Narcotic Anonymous work book.Celebrate Recovery meetings.Best rehab Life Challenge a year program.In Mi the best rehabs are Sacred Heart in Memphis Mi. and Brighton rehab. Best sober living,Dawn Farms and Brighton rehab.If you have a loved one who struggles with drug addiction for your own sanity get help go to Al-Alon or celebrate recovery.When Dr. Nemeh Issam and Daniel Jackson Awaking ministries Prayed over my son he's started to get help and do better.Is is the WORST thing I have ever had to live through

Unknown said...

u love him don't leave him, have his back and support him....give him a choice and be firm and serious but to walk out on some one who desperately needs u would be the worst think u can do for him I urge u to strongly reconsider and try to help him or next u hear from him is the er saying he has died from od....just my opinion

Anonymous said...

My daughter is 24 years old and has been using heroin for the last 7 years. She recently had a baby and is still using. Both her and her boyfriend/fiance use while the baby is in their residence and it breaks my heart. I've actually seen the baby poking her mom while she's slumped over from using . I'm at a loss as to what to do and i'm very scared for the baby.:(

Barbara Adams said...

Wayne, my daughter is using heroine after being clean for 12 years but she doesn't know I know this time. She just stopped seeing me for 3 years. Since u have been there would your advice be that I keep trying letters, cards, texts, etc.
or just let it be. I know like u said she is ashamed and doesn't want to hurt me again. Any advice for a heart broken mother?

Anonymous said...

So very proud of you, my daughter has been using drugs since she was 17, pills at first and then 7 years ago she got hooked on heroin. She's been on methadone and abused it, got high while on it, she's been in jail so Many times I've lost count. This time while in jail her judge sent her to a 30 day treatment facility. So she's been eating, drinking, sleeping, breathing AA for three weeks. She looks better than she has in years, she is actually reading her big book, and talking about loving being sober, but right now she's in the hospital or treatment facility. My prayer is that she will do the work and keep up the fight once she is back in the real world. I know AA has saved many lives. I'm praying it will save hers. Like I said she's been an addict since she was 17, she is 30 now. I'm praying that rehab and AA will give her 30 more years of good,sober life. Praying for miracles. GOD BLESS YOU .

Marlene D said...

Bless you for sharing this. Many people are looking for ways to avoid the inevitable that at some point total abstinence has to occur for heartfelt, honest recovery to occur. The substituting of one for another for another is simply like changing seats on the Titanic. No matter where you sit, you are eventually going to go down with the ship. Eventually the use of anything has to stop. I don't buy that people need to be on methadone, heroin, suboxone, subutex for a lifetime. Vivitrol injections are only naltrexone, which is an opiate blocker but has no opiates in it. The injection lasts a month. ReVia is the pill form. But you don't hear opiate addicts asking for these alternatives because they still want to play around with and substitute other drugs with them opiate containing formulations. I do believe some people are very serious and replacements work and are taken as intended. But I commend someone who says enough is enough. I am also in NA 8 months for other drugs but not opiates. They never did anything for me.

Yessi88 said...

My boyfriend and baby's father I think started using right before our now 5 month old was born it's been hard at first we had a place then decided to move out to save up for a new place while staying at his grandfather's I kept finding foil laying around or in the washing machine from his previous clothes and broken pens that stunk his attitude would always be up and down one day nice and the extremely irritable,every time I found something it was always the same story that it was old or he only tried it a few times, after finding it so many times I decided to move out to a city that's an hour and a half away, now 5 months later I've been going to see him about once a week and I'll spend a few days there but since I've left I think he's gotten worse I found a booking with a bunch of saved foil and straws or metal pipes the foil has black lines all over it and he'll give me money but every time he does he always takes some of it back I'm just scared that he's going to start shooting up and oding but I've offered to help only to get ignored and I don't know what to do anymore now it's to the point where he's a little more open about it since he'll forget to flush his foil down the toilet or leave foul smelling straws around hell have the nerve to tell me to just throw it away I wish I knew what to do to help him but I know he can only help himself when he's ready to stop.

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