Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Moment of Truth

I just walked into the room and said, "Both of you look like you're messed've been acting stange and you both need to take a drug test." Immediately her boyfriend said, okay. I walked back into the room with the tests and said well okay let's do it...They looked at me really surprised. My daughter said, "Mom, you've lost it...for real". To my surprise they were both clean except for marijuana.

My daughter told her boyfriend that she would definitely leave him if he continued to take pills because it was unfair to her. It was unfair and selfish for him to take those pills because she wasn't doing heroin.

I guess he was truly sick...and thin looking and acting strangely because he was dope sick...but they were acting so strange I just thought they were both doing opiods or heroin. I guess I'm just paranoid...but the behavior they were exhibiting just led me to believe they were messed up on something. Overreacting...oh well I don't care if I was...they just kinda laughed about it...which made me suspicious all over again. I guess I'm losing it....again.

From what I've experienced, if someone is using heroin or opiods...there are times [very few times] but there are times when they really want someone to help them. If you can catch them in that exact moment of time you can help them turn around...I honestly don't think my daughter would be where she is today if it hadn't been for her still-using friends calling me and telling me that she was addicted to heroin and that I needed to help her. For that I am truly greatful. I wish I could help them too...I just don't have the strength...

I'm going to take a deep breath...and hope for the best.


Fractalmom said...

you know. I am REALLY happy for you and your daughter. I am glad that you just marched in and said 'you are going to take a drug test', and I am so glad they passed.

Maybe, just maybe, she will be one of the 13%.

I think I feel better.

k1tten said...

13%? That makes me sick to my stomach. Am I one of those 13%? I hope I am. Just seeing the name of your blog made me feel sorry for all the awful things I have put my mother through. I wish she was stronger I wish I didn't make her HAVE to be strong? I feel so bad. :(

My Daughter's Addiction said...

fractalmom: I think I feel better too...I think I'm going to relax before the next drama unfolds because I know its coming...

Kitten: Don't feel bad...The fact that you're feeling bad about hurting your Mom is a sign that you really are one of the 13%. Don't give up...stay strong. Are you currently some type of program?
[methadone, seboxone]?