Friday, June 19, 2009

Daughter still free from heroin

My daughter is still free from heroin. She will be starting college in August and I'm so proud of her. We don't talk about it [heroin] anymore. She doesn't want to talk about it...she doesn't want to think about it. These days its like it never happened. Shes a very different person now.

Sometimes, I have to be very careful about what I say to her. For example, [I say, "wow I don't think you should be doing that because you might mess up] ..she immediately thinks I'm talking about heroin...I can tell by the way she looks at me...then I have to make myself clear. I'm just happy that she's not using heroin and hasn't used since February 2008.

I watched as she struggled to stay away from her friends that used....friends that still use. She told me that when she sees them driving around [they just nod]...she's no longer in the group. Sometimes she misses them but mainly she just stays away and they stay away from her. They know that she's clean and I think they wish they were but for some reason they just can't do it....I wonder if after a while you just give up, tell yourself you can't quit so you just stop trying. I just wish kids and adults would stop and think before they use heroin...its a horrible, horrible addiction.

I still think that she wouldn't be clean if it weren't for suboxone. I really believe that it was the key to her success along with other techniques like staying away from users, places, etc. and most importantly going to a counseler. She has been off the suboxone for about 6 months or longer...I can't remember now.

It took me a while to be able to relax....but now I'm relaxed but I'll never forget what happened to my teenager who made a horrible choice to use heroin. She has a diary about her addiction...of course, she doesn't read it. She'd like to publish it one day.


mother of drug addict said...

Your story gives me hope for my Kelly, she has 8 months clean with no suboxen, she went cold turkey in jailand he just got her GED so now she has more hope than ever before.

lmom said...

Congratulations to both you and your daughter. My daughter is 29 and I found out that she was using heroin several weeks ago. She voluntarily entered the hospital for detox and then rehab, but left rehab after 8 days. She claimed that there were girls using in the facility and it made her panic.She has been using for about a year, shooting for about 2 months. She has used oxycontin for several years. She tried suboxone about 18 months ago, but relapsed after 2 months. I am crazy at this point. She states that she wants help. She is still lying about things, even stupid things. The boyfriend picked her up from rehab. Please offer suggestions. There are no nar-onon groups in my area, the rehab place didn't bring me into the picture. I feel like I am floating in space. I have tried to keep strong, but its starting to affect me and my ability to think clearly, keep up with my job. Her father died 19 months ago from alcoholism. Nice huh! I feel like I am sinking.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

mother of drug addict-
Congratulations to you and your daughter it seems as though she's definitely on the right track. When they finally turn that corner from just being clean to wanting to stay clean is a life changing experience for them....and for us. Stay in touch.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

Imom-I can believe your daughter when she says there are people in rehab using...there are people in jail using - its everywhere. Has she used since her boyfriend picked her up from rehab?

Is the boyfriend a user too? He would be a key to her success or failure depending on if he uses...

Honestly, I understand how you feel. You want to help her but you don't know how. There's really nothing you can do or say to convince her not to use if she's still using. Her lying may be out of habit...lying is big part of the addiction lifestyle. Your feeling like your floating around in space because your having to deal with a very stressful situation...including the death of her father.

Stay strong...please remember there is nothing you can do but tell her that you love her and that you'll help her if she really wants help to stay clean.

Please keep in touch.