Tuesday, May 6, 2008

She Used Heroin in January 2008

Yesterday her boyfriend told me and her counselor that she had used in January and again in February. I've heard that setbacks are pretty normal for addicts. I just didn't realize she had used. I actually thought she had the flu...because she was very sick, throwing up and nauseated. I guess it wasn't the flu. Her boyfriend thought she had the flu too...until someone told him it wasn't the flu...She didn't lie and say she didn't do it ...but she was pretty upset that he told us ...The counselor said that she had suspected it anyway and that she was glad that it was out in the open. I didn't suspect anything...I'm clueless...Well, the good news is that she hasn't used since February....and she's being honest....That's good, right? [This links back January 2008, a real eye opener]


Fractalmom said...

Hi. My name is Dawn. I have a daughter who is a heroin addict. I took two of her children away from her. She has since had another baby.

She has kicked the habit 9 times so far, cold turkey, methadone (3x) suboxone, bupenorphrine, counseling, and inpatient rehab, 12 step...you name it, she has done it.

Remember the following.

It's not your fault, it's not your problem.

You didn't cause it.
You cannot cure it.
You cannot control it.

And, also remember that only 15% of heroin addicts ever truly kick the habit permanently.

Good luck and I will follow your blog.

My daughter has been an addict now for almost 10 years. I will pray for you and your child.

My Daughter's Addiction said...

I can't imagine what you've been going through. I've only been dealing with this almost 6 months.
I'm hoping that she's one of the lucky ones [15%]. Thank you for talking to me Dawn any advice is appreciated. I read somewhere that 10 years is about the length of time a person will be a heroin addict...after that they will seriously buckle down and fight. I pray this is what will happen to your daughter.

Fractalmom said...

I have used one of my blogs to start to chronicle my daughter's addiction and the impact it has had on the family, as well as what I have learned through my journey. if you want to read it, it is at


Fractalmom said...

now that your daughter is off heroin, even though she is on suboxone...is she going to counseling (other than with the prescribing suboxone person?). the reason this is so important..is that they have to find out WHAT led them to use in the first place. sadly, something my daughter has never done. she only goes to the drug rehab counselors.

i cannot stress how important this step is. my daughter also used suboxone.

it scared me when I read your post about her taking the 13 tabs in four days. she is still trying to get high.

i hope she is getting counseling

My Daughter's Addiction said...

About the 13 suboxone tabs in 4 days. I now know [thanks to her straight boyfriend] that she used heroin in January and again in February.... and then tried to straighten herself out without her Doctor knowing about it. I guess she really wanted to go out and use again after she messed up.... so she took more suboxone than she should have. I thought she had the flu [clueless].

Your right about the counseling. As part of her suboxone treatment she's her psychiatrist once a month and must visit a counselor at least twice a month. Sometimes she goes every week. It really does help...she has a great relationship with her counselor...At first, I thought counseling was just a way for her psychiatrist to make more money...Now I know different. I don't think she would have stayed clean for 3 months if she hadn't had the counseling.

Looking back I wish I had taken her to a counselor earlier. I thought she was just being a teenager...a difficult teenager... but she [we] would get through it... She always talked about her anxiety...I just couldn't see it because she's smart and beautiful. What would she have to be anxious or depressed about?

I never thought in a million years that she would fall prey to the [heroin trap].

Fractalmom said...

yeah. who the heck knows with teenagers? I had three daughters, and know well what you mean.

I would say this. Two things.

One, if she is shooting heroin while on suboxone..she can die really easy. Suboxone blocks the heroin receptors in the brain, and so she will have to shoot more heroin than she was used to doing. So, overdose is really common.

Two. Something isn't working if she used twice. It's wonderful that she has now been clean for three months, but honestly, you cannot even believe that.

I am really glad she is going to a psychiatrist, but I would strongly recommend a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as well. My experience has been that the psychisatrists usually are really good at managing medications, but not so good at listening and helping people solve problems through counseling therapy.

Liking a counselor is important, but so is finding a counselor who will NOT accept excuses and behaviors. Our junkies are really, REALLY good. They can bullshit anyone.

Most good drug rehab centers insist on daily counseling for at least two months, then bi weekly, then weekly.

The same things that led her to use, and then like the high, will lead her right back. Again and again.

I am not trying to be harsh. It has been almost 10 years for me.

And my daughter was on suboxone. Methadone. N.A meetings. She always was excited about being clean, happy to be clean, loving life while she was clean....

and went RIGHT back to using every single time.